Posted: 18 September 2008 at 7:13am
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She loved the pitter patter of the rain. Yes, the sound of the falling rain sang in harmony with her heart. It always rained when he came, she didn't his name or where he lived. She had no need to know those things, she just waited for him to come to her. She lived for the day when he came to her, it had become her sole reason to live and breath now.
Her wretched existence had changed that night, that fateful night when she had ran away from her apartment, the letter written by Ronit still clutched in her hand. She had ran until she could run no more and found herself on the shore of dark and raging sea. Geeta had stared at the words on the crumpled letter, Ronit telling her he was leaving her for good, he had never loved her and refusing to accept responsibility of the life that was growing inside her. Five years of relathionship had been shattered in minutes...her life which she had thought was perfect had crumbled around her. Her love, her faith, her trust all blown into dust by his callous letter.
The wind had carried the letter out of her hand and swirled it madly into those maddening waves. Tears had blurred her eyes and her feet had stepped into the rolling waves following the letter. She had walked into the broiling waters, unaware of it crashing on her body, toppling her into the foamy sea. She had felt the water drawn into her lungs, filling her, choking her but she was too numb to react and had closed her eyes to let the sea take her to that letter.
When she had opened her eyes again, she was in an unfamiliar room, on a bed that was not hers. It had been dark in the room and then she had noticed him slumped in the chair next to her, his head fallen forward as he slept. She had stared at him in fear, not recognizing him, didn't know who he was or why he was here in the room with her. Her hand had clutched at the sheets covering her and she had moved them slowly, only to cover herself again. Her clothes had disappeared and she was bare underneath the sheets. She had clutched at the sheets tighter, her thought had been jumbled, only one thought clear, how she was she going to get out of this strange place.
As she had stared at him, his eyes had opened slowly and both of them had looked at each other in silence. When she had asked him how she had got there, he had answered quietly and briefly telling her he had pulled her out of the sea. He had been walking along the beach when he had seen her fall into the water and rushed to save her. He had apologized for removing her wet clothes, but it had been necessary to get her out of her wet clothes. After asking her if she was alright, he had left alone, telling her he would come in the morning and bring some clothes for her.
Thus had began this strange but comfortable relationship between them. He had never asked her anything except her name, not even when she had miscarried her baby and she had never asked him anything.
Now as his hands glided over her skin just like the raindrops sliding down the glass pane, evoking nothing but pleasure in her body. A smile curved her lips as she lifted her head and pressed her lips to his warm, sweet mouth. His lips felt seductive under hers, the slow kiss caused her senses to ignite until she was moaning small pleasurable sounds and her finger which has gripped his hair, fell helplessly to the side as his mouth took over the from hers.
He moved his slowly down her neck, nibbling at the skin, igniting small fires as he trailed down. The rush of desires now multiplying just like falling rain drops gathered together into small rivlets on the earth. She let herself flow along in her desires wanting nothing more than submerge herself into him.
Later as she rested in the crook of his arm, listening to his rhythmic breathing, she mused how his brief visits filled her with so much joy that she managed to make it last until he came again. Ronit and his memories had long been buried never to resurface again, this man had wiped out that phase of her life forever, the only grief she held onto was the loss of her child. The child would have given some meaning to her life, given her memories to hold onto, given her fulfilment of being a mother, for now she had no hope of ever being a mother again. Her thoughts were disturbed by his hand reaching out to her and pulling her closer to him.
The bright morning sun filled her room as Geeta stirred, she turned over to look at him, but he was gone. A note with a single rose lay instead. She picked it up and caressed the rose against her cheek, another one to add to her collection. The note held the same line as always, "Thank you for being here for me." She pressed the note to her lips and then put the note away in the drawer and sat up with a smile on her face, ready to live life again.
Geeta sat looking at the phone, wishing it to ring. It was over three months now since his last visit. The rains had long since gone and winter chill had set in. The shawl was pulled tighter over shoulders as she sat looking out of the window now. She wished he would come so she could share the news with him, tell him about the their baby, tell him she loved him. But like the day before he didn't come and she went to bed disappointed, but with hope still in her heart that he would come.
Geeta opened the door early evening one day to see a strange man holding a packet for her. He handed it quietly to her to saying nothing and leaving. Geeta stared at her name on the package. She sat down on the floor and tore opend the brown wrapping to open a box and stare at the content. There was a photo of him and some papers. She picked up the note with her name on it and opened it to read.
When you read this note, I will no longer be in this world. I wish I had been brave enought to tell you everything I wanted to tell you. But I did not have the courage to burden you with my sorrow. The night I saved you on the beach is the same day I found out I had cancer, it had spread too much in my body and there was nothing much for the doctors to do but give medications to ease my pain. I think fate threw us together so we could find comfort in each other. You had your sorrows and I had mind, but when we were together, they were forgotten and for few hours we could love each other with no thought for tomorrow. I never told you my name because I knew we had no future together and wanted to protect my family. But I had made up my mind that when I am gone you should at least know my name to gift our child that is with you now. Yes, I know about the child, don't ask me how, but I just felt as if the last time we were together, we had created a beautiful being. I hope you will raise our child by giving it all the love you have for me.
There is also a trust fund set for our baby, I know it will not be easy to raise a child by yourself and I want to make sure that neither of you suffer because of my selfishness. Please don't cry when you read this, remember I did love you, even though I never said it. You gave me the strength to face my destiny with no regrets. You made death nothing but a way for us to be together for ever, for I shall always be with you. Everytime it rains, you feel me with you, loving you, comforting you.
Tears fell on the paper leaving its mark. She tried to stem the flow but it could not be stopped. The note fell on the floor as she fell on the floor crying. When her crying had subsided, she stood up and picked up his photo and placed it near her bed. The box she closed and put it away. She had no need for it at the moment. Now she understoof why the phone had not rung and why he had not stepped into their home. With her hands resting on her stomach, she murmured the few prayers she knew, thanking the Lord for the gift their parting had left, the gift of motherhood given to her by her dying lover. She wished just for one moment she could see him and thank him for the most precicous gift he had given her.