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Pyar Ka Khel... Part II updated

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prettylady

Senior Member

prettylady

Joined: 04 March 2007

Posts: 551

Posted: 09 September 2008 at 2:50pm | IP Logged
hey Bidaai Friends! Ok I know we already have TT & Born-Leader's wonderful and insanely addicting FanFics, but I couldn't resist trying to make one up of my own Embarrassed I really want all of your feedback, if you think its totally lame (and i won't hold it against you if you did) or if you think its juicy and want me to continue... let me know!!!! Big smile



Sadhna stands on the balcony looking out into the yard and sees Ranvir leaning against a tree looking sad and flipping his cell phone up and down

She lets out a little sigh so sad to see her devar upset

Aalekh comes behind her and puts his hands around her waist and looks out over her shoulder to see where she's looking

Aalekh: oh no what's wrong with him?

Sadhna: hmm he's been standing there for over two hours' I've never seen him so upset

Aalekh: why don't you go talk to him' just like your love has helped me if you talk to your pyaara sa devar maybe you can solve his problem

Sadhna turns around and looks at Aalekh' she smiles and puts both of her hands on his face

Sadhna: acha if you have that much faith in me then I'll go talk to him

She starts to walk away when Aalekh grabs on to her hand, she playfully slaps his hand away and starts to walk outside to find Ranvir

Ranvir is still flipping his phone up and down and with each movement he whispers to himself, 'she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not''

Sadhna hears him and giggles, 'Ranvir most people use a rose to find the answer to that question.'

Ranvir gets startled and grins at his beloved bhabi, 'oh Sadhna bhabi ape' is anything wrong?'

Sadhna: 'I was just about to ask you the same thing'. What's wrong? Any problem?'

Ranvir looks at his phone again, 'she hasn't called back yet, we got into a fight today. I know she's your sister Bhabi but look what she's done to me, I can't eat, I can't sleep, all day long I think about her and all night long I dream about her, it's not fair Bhabi she can't treat me like this'

Sadhna: 'but what happened' tell me first'

Ranvir: 'That's the problem I don't know what happened' I went to pick her up from dance class and she was very quiet' I asked her if anything was wrong and she just shook her head' You know I can't see her upset Bhabi so I kept on asking her if there was any problem at class and she said no and then I asked her if there was any problem at home and she just exploded on me. I stopped the car and she just ran out crying. I ran after her but she got in a taxi and left. I don't know what I did wrong Bhabi but I've called her 100 times since this afternoon and she won't answer.'

Sadhna looks shocked, she thinks to herself that Gigi is never like this and gets a little worried. She sees Ranvir looking at her for answers so she gives him a little smile and puts her hand on his shoulder

Sadhna: Oh Ranvir, I bet its nothing. She has been a little stressed out lately because of the dance classes she's teaching and the performances coming up. I'll talk to her, she's probably thinking of ways to say sorry to you right now. Don't worry I'll get to the bottom of this

Ranvir takes a sigh of relief but still looks tense, he looks at his phone again and gets an idea

Ranvir: Bhabi please call right now and find out what's wrong, I won't be able to sleep until I know what's bothering her. Please Bhabi please please please

Sadhna: okay okay' your going to wake up the whole neighborhood, I'll call her

Ranvir dials the number and pushes the phone to Sadhna's ear

She smiles at his impatience and the phone rings several times

Mami-ji answers the phone

Mami-ji: hello?

Sadhna: Mami-ji, namaste, main Sadhna

Mami-ji: are Sadhna, jeete rahe, kaise ho? Aalekh babu kaise hain?

Sadhna: I'm doing fine' he's also good busy with work these days' Mami-ji is Gigi home?

Mami-ji: Yes beta she's here, but before that I need to tell you the good news

Sadhna: Good news' oh wow Mami-ji please tell me

Mami-ji: We have finalized Ragni's wedding to a very nice boy maa introduced us to, you should meet him Sadhna he's perfect for Ragni and his mother was telling me that he has fallen madly in love with her picture and wants the wedding to be as soon as possible, isn't that great beta???

Sadhna puts her hand over her mouth and looks at Ranvir, he gets scared at her reaction and the scene ends with a desperate look in his eyes


Precap: Sadhna finishes telling Ranvir and Aalekh what Mami-ji said on the phone and Ranvir runs out of the room. Sadhna and Aalekh run after him



Edited by prettylady - 13 September 2008 at 4:56pm

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neetusidhu

Goldie

neetusidhu

Joined: 19 January 2005

Posts: 1627

Posted: 09 September 2008 at 3:33pm | IP Logged
very well written....cant wait for more....so alekh is better in this eh????

rano-

Goldie

rano-

Joined: 31 May 2008

Posts: 1338

Posted: 09 September 2008 at 4:58pm | IP Logged

Waiting 2 c what direction the story will go-will Ragvir end up together?  Great Story.



Edited by priya*** - 09 September 2008 at 4:58pm

--Pinky--

IF-Sizzlerz

--Pinky--

Joined: 27 December 2005

Posts: 14893

Posted: 09 September 2008 at 9:20pm | IP Logged
really nice, do keep it going and do give the FF a name.


born-leader

Senior Member

born-leader

Joined: 25 October 2007

Posts: 488

Posted: 10 September 2008 at 12:21am | IP Logged
WONDERFUL .... ClapClapClap Great part I really liked it...!!! Hmm, so Ranveer knows about Ragini...!!! That's good...!!! Well, please give name to your FF and I really liked the first part...!!! Update the others part soon....!!!!

sihu

Goldie

sihu

Joined: 12 October 2006

Posts: 1959

Posted: 10 September 2008 at 3:27am | IP Logged
Hey this is really nice.......and I just put up a topic asking for a normal Alekh......at least he is in ur FF....pls continue...

SadButTrue1

IF-Dazzler

SadButTrue1

Joined: 14 September 2005

Posts: 2517

Posted: 10 September 2008 at 4:49am | IP Logged
wow i really like it !! Give ur FF a name..
its so gud to know that there are so many creative members on this forum !!

talkativetaurus

IF-Sizzlerz

talkativetaurus

Joined: 15 March 2007

Posts: 13706

Posted: 10 September 2008 at 7:06am | IP Logged
woah pretty ...really grt ...nice to see so many FF in bidaai forum .... u both r grt n better writers than me !! and ur FF is interesting ..really .... provide it with a name and if poss a small description ..though not necessary..

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