Joined: 11 October 2005
"Oh Armaan I am so exited! .we're going to be living here!? "Armaan smiled over at Muskhan as they looked over at the new house?. It was perfect....large house by the sea with the salty sea air ......away from the bustling city and his practice.... he looked over Muskhan and smiled.... Everything is simple now perfect! In the next six months they where getting married and he was happy!
"Ok I see you in like in six week . I am going to so miss you baby!!" holding the phone he walked over to the window to see the full moon in the sky and sighed hearing Muskhan kiss him over the phone.
"I love you too give my love to everyone in India!I am so going to miss you!!"placing the phone down he looked over at the night sky and smiled.
Frowning looking over at the clock he headed for the door.....he gasped as he looked over at her walking into the apartment and turn round and looked at her?.it was as if he seen her in a previous life ....three years ago at the seminar.
"I need you're help" he looked over at her as she chewed her gum in her mouth looking at him? she looked scruffy and if she not changed for a week.
"Look uh?. Do I know you?? "He looked over at her moving around the apartment.....he felt jumpy seeing her scoping out the place and heard a lot about women like her and there kind.
She looked over at him and he was handsome as ever and her journalist instincts kicked in she saw the perfect couple pictures on the wall and the masculine furniture and that musky cologne gently tickled her senses .Feeling his hazel eyes burning thorough her body she stop chewing her gum nervously and looked at him.
"I guess you're surprised see me here and stuff" she said lookin at him
"Look I thought I paid you and stuff??" she looked over at him giving him a cold stare.
"I told you before it was a misunderstanding but you never wanted to listen and just kind of left.....and you where all over me like a rash and...." he looked over at her blushing as he looked over at her head to toes?she looked like she lost weight but he could still see the siren naked body he had the pleasure to play with?
"My name is Riddhima Gupta....I was scoping a story at the hotel and the stupid bell boy gave me the wrong number and ..." He frowned looked over at her and reached for his pocket..
"Look who ever you are?? Chirag sent you to my room that night I had a fight with Muskhan and ....Look you want money...." She looked over at him not listening to her taking his money from his wallet.... she looked over at him taking his money from his hand.
"I don't want you're money ?.I need you're blood, "he looked over at her and then looked over at the phone on the coffee table ...he heard about story about people being drugged and then operated on.
"Look this sounds crazy right but!!. I need you're bone marrow for my daughter!!".. he stared at her feeling his heart stop.
"WHAT?" this two bit hooker was think I am the....
"Ok look chill out !.meet me here at the hospital.." He stared at her putting his money on the coffee table with an address on the table.
"Please come!"he looked over at her walking towards the door and stop.
"Look my daughter need a donor and I don't match so that leave you so?" He stared at her closing the door and looked over at the hospital address and it was his sister practise....
"Yeah the journalist woman? Riddhima right?.....tough case her child's got blood cancer stage 2.cute child..... Looking at her she reminds me of someone anyway we need a donor....as she does not match...i think Rick told her that she need father donor she was jumpy ..and told us is there any other way!....we told her no!" Armaan closed his eyes sinking deeper into the sofa ...
"You sure she a jurno? Atul I mean?"
"Yeah Armaan she work for some LA local paper.... She actually very nice very worried spend all day here at the hospital with her 3 year old!" Atul paused over hearing the silence on the phone...
"Atul I need to talk to about this and can you come over.... sensing his distress Atul knew something was seriously wrong and he knew Armaan from University and he was not normally this distress and something was seriously wrong....
"Armaan I finish my shift in 2 hours I come over then.."
"Chriag man! I think I have had enough!"...Armaan looked over at Chriag in the hotel bar..The seminar they where attending on Medical DNA in Seattle was soon to be over and his presentation was something he could recite in his sleep but he was upset today and looked over at his best friend telling him of his confusion.
"Man just tell her like her! " Chriag looked over at him after watching him scared to admit his feeling for Muskhan he did not get it ....why was Armaan scared to even take Muskhan seriously...
"OMG you so into this DNA crap Armaan!Jeez man!! I think she loves you and not white part of you're genetic makeup you're from!"....Armaan looked at him but this was the truth.....he was bought up in a Italian household and with his cousin but his father was so reserved but he used to watch him and his mother just love each other and when she was upset she used to scream in Italian at him and he shout back in Hindi.....but he saw how his father would just tell him....I do love her but she does not understand at time.....and his mother would say the same .....Both from different world and he came to America on a work Visa and fell for Maria at the hospital a nurse.....DR Ashok Malik feel in love with Maria Carlopoli.....but Dad had to make a big sacrifice!.....He was in India engaged to Jaya Bhatt someone he knew all his life and then there was Maria a woman he was physically attracted too....Not know what was happening he fell in love with Maria and one thing lead to another....With in a year Maria told him she was with child.....That changed everything....Father had to choose Jaya or Maria? Armaan felt dad gave up a lot for his sake but then there were time where he saw the love in his eyes for Maria and then when he got a call from India he saw regret for what he done .....as the families members never spoken to him when he told them of Maria and him.... Dad was shut out from his family and disowned from everyone!....Occasional his sister would call and he had tears in his eyes and mom would just comfort him.... Mum felt that he given her everything and gained pain she blamed herself and that strain was on the marriage... Mum would thinks she trapped him and he lost everything as mum could not live without Papa Joe and Momma Gina and could understand his pain..Father would feel the rejection and it strained them but when Mom past away ?he saw something different in his fathers eyes like she took something with her?and the cancer had not just taken her away from them but taken something away from both of them?. Dad would call and he would go and see him but it was like distant himself with him somewhat and he could not understand why.
"Armaan look you are think to much!.she like you and stuff! ...she in India right!" Chriag looked at him as he looked as if he was in his own world..
"Yeah her father found a suitor ....she get married I guess!" Chirag looked at him shaking his head.
"Look man forget her.....in fact forget everything!...Lets have some fun!" Armaan looked him shaking his head.
"What you talking about?"Armaan looked over at him.
"Look thank me tomorrow evening when we leave....just got to you're room and about 8pm you get Chriag surprise!" Armaan looked at him as they both got up to go to there rooms?
"Chriag?" he looked at him slightly puzzled as then enter the lift
"Look chill out Armaan!.trust me!" Chriag smiled as then stopped on there floor.
"You sure the Senators in that suite?" Riddhima looked over at the Bellboy handing him a green 100$ bill as she looked at him can he be trusted
Man I need this scoop he using public funding for his own and she need to get a confession out of him before the story hit the papers in the morning?and she not seen this Senator Patel was send to be a smooth young operator and she need this story.
"Yeah room book in his name under an alias and I just saw him enter the lift.... She looked at him placing the money in his pocket....and maybe she could get a great story for the paper....If not Josh was goin to give her the job of writing restaurant reviews and go now what else...she need this no matter what the cost. As she walked towards the lift she spotted the police pick up some young girls as she left the lobby and looked at them oddly and seeing that slime bag Vivek in his police uniform and quickly moved towards the lift.. If Vivek see her then there be trouble she got into deep trouble trying to prove his unhanded police scam and got arrested twice as he planted evidence against her.Due to this Josh had to bailey her out and hush up the case so it would not go on her record and if he see's her here now he just trying something. Pushing the button to the lift she got out of there unnoticed but why was he here this was not his area? She thought seeing the doors open to the 5th floor she left the lift...."Room 512 she mumbled looking at the doors.
*Beep Beep* seeing Anjali name flashing on her mobile she answered the call.
"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?" great here we go?
"Di im working!"she answered looking at the door number.
"It's like 8:30pm what case? Papa is having a fit and!" Sighing she listen to Anjali moaning at her as she stopped seeing the maids trolley.
"Di tell papa! I am not coming home if he wants me to marry Sumit!" she heard the line go dead silent and sighed.
"Look Di I just cant marry someone I don't love and Sumit is a nice guys and dad loves him more then me, I get it but I cant marry him I just cant do it!" Riddhima tried so many time to try to follow her father's wishes but could not! Men where always something she was unlucky with.... From Kalvin to Antonio she would feel like something was missing and it was lust more then anything!Good looking guys who like her just wanted to enjoy there time together and move on. I guess deep down she never want to commit be that single living person for just someone! The there where the argument and then the atmosphere in the house. It was always there when Anjali and herself came home from school! Momma would be crying and depressed and dad would just come home to a clean house with dinner on the table, never actually talking to them much.. Truth was Dad wanted a son and Riddhima if she was born a boy would have been dads everything but fate had other idea's and Momma could not give him that wish of a Son! Instead papa would pick on Momma faults and just be harsh with her and Anjali saw her breaking at time and Momma would just take the constant verbal abuse?. Married was something Riddhima was never ever going to get involved with no matter what!!
!Look Di I know you're seeing some guys and I hope you happy!.but I cant do it! Just tell him I am sorry!"
"Riddhima you're going to have to do that you're self! Yeah I am seeing someone and Papa met him I want you to meet him too atleast come home and we can sit and talk!" Riddhima sighed
"Di I tried that remember thanksgiving ....Dad and I just fought! I think I am better off just not coming home.You heard him not to step a foot back into the house until my answer was yes!?." Riddhima closed her eye heavy heartedly and thought about the day she went home? no matter what he would just pop at her and her life. Di was helping out his estate agency business and she had a jobless job freelancing and he would pick on something and then she retaliate in some way and poor Di was forever just trying to stop them both..
"I got you're message! and I will get there for his birthday tomorrow evening...Ok Di but I am warning he say something and .."
"Ok fine! I have organised a large party tomorrow evening and he will not say anything just come show you're face ...please for me!" Anjali pleaded on the phone.
"Fine tomorrow ....Di bye" In public he would be affectionate as he had an image to protect but behind closed door he was something else?but she envied Di as she was his first born and he loved her, while she was something he rejected as soon as he saw her at the hospital...And that was what hurt the reject so she decided to live life how she wanted and to never get closed as you end up hurt!
"Here we go!" She looked over at the door and knocked.
She enter the room as it was unlocked and she had been knocking for sometime and entered the dim lit room and saw the large scotch on the table with two glasses and ice bucket. Looking around she saw the large king size bed through the French doors and saw a jacket lying on the sofa.... as she analyzed the suite for clues she looked around for anything she could find?hearing a door open she spun round and looked at him..
"Hi I am.."
"I know how you are!" She looked at him coming forwards pulling his tie....he was handsome as they had informed her deadly handsome and politians where slimly so she had to be careful!
"Why don't you take a seat we can get started!" Smiling she nodded taking a seat on the sofa..
Wow got to hand it to Chriag the hooker does not look like one! I mean he plays these games all the time and I think the alcohol is kind of kicking in here?I should just send her away .I cant do this ?he thought sitting next to her as she looked into her hand bag.
"This should take an hour!" he looked over at her wow! But Chirag said he paid for the whole night and for tomorrow afternoon. Armaan look at her she getting started and getting stuff out her handbag so...I cant what about Muskhan? But you not told her that you love her and she has never confessed.... Plus you're just friend and she gone to get fixed in India and mostly enjoying herself. Yeah look at her white thighs and her skirt is ridding up..man Armaan see her low cut office type top and she getting the toys out her bag. she totally game this is not emotion type of fun! No ties and just physical pleasure! he looked over at her not sure what was stirring inside him as he saw her leaning towards her bag ...he opened a few of his shirt buttons and threw his tie on the floor. She turned looking at him cursing how she forgot the Dictaphone in the car....and if she left now he would not give her an exclusive!
"Are you ready?" he was in no mood to wait now and looked at her some what unsure....but he was now sure he wanted this badly as his inside where throbbing looking at her lustfully ..he was unsure if it was the sight of her as he thought about ripping of her clothes or if it was the alcohol mixing in with the adrenaline of him going to do something he never ever thought of before?.he edged towards her as she looked occupied and felt her leg touch his and felt the rush kicking in....Feeling bold he looked at her face and her lips.
"Would you like a drink?" he asked looking at her as she nodded
She looked over at him as he poured the scotch in the glass and handed her the small glass shots?this would relax her and she could get the scoop she needed. he watched her closely and took hold of her hand as she looked at him
"Relax!" his voice seemed soothing somewhat as she clicked the pen in her hand.
She looked over at him as they both emptied the bottle....as she was nervous and he was not talking think she get the story from him she poured him another shot. Armaan looked over at her as the stain of hair falling onto her face made him frown! moving forward he grabbed her wrist and pulled him towards him hard. See looked over at him confused as he looked over at her.... "dame thing!" he mumbled moving his hand forward tucking her hair away....she looked at him oddly feeling his hand release her as she felt his fingers outlining the edge of her face.
"You are very beautiful!" he whispered moving closer to her..
She tried to move back but hit the side of the sofa as she felt him leaning ontop of her....Feeling sexually charged and no looked able to fight the beast within he kissed her....feeling her body resisting at first but as he....managed to take hold of her and pull her towards him feeling her breast crush his chest....She looked over at him as he ran his fingers under her blouse.....
"What are you doin?" she said breathlessly unsure what just happen whether it was the alcohol or the mere fact she to need to feel love.
"Make love to me!....want to forget everything and just want to feel nothing but love!"he whispered picking her up in his arms....she looked over at him unsure what she wanted as he lay her on the bed with the dim light.... he moved forward and placed his hand on her thigh....feeling her shudder as he touched her velvet like milky thighs with both hands kissing her neck....She did not now what was happening but her body was just deceiving her totally as she closed her eyes.... NO this is not right? Feeling her blouse buttons open and his hand groping her so gentle as he kissed her..... Now she was unable to do anything as she wanted to feel something too.....
Armaan looked over at Atul as he placed his lips to the glass with imagining how she made him feel as he made love to her and she him....He never forced her and felt her also longing to feel loved too?and there naked body just did not stop all night and the early part of the morning in the hot tub.... He looked over at Atul who looked at him silently....
"I left in the morning.....as she got changed....this was before I confessed to Muskhan I love her!.... And I thought she was just you know a prostitute I mean?" Atul looked over at him as he looked guilty and just placed his hand on his shoulder
"So Esha's your child!" Atul's words hit him hard....
"How do I know? I mean I don't even know who this Riddhima is? And the could have been someone else?" Armaan said defensively looking over at Atul so unsure...
"Hmm I guess we could find out.....Armaan stop drink yaar! Come tomorrow and we run some test?" Atul said getting up from the sofa
"Atul you cant tell anyone!"
"Reset assure Armaan!"
He looked over at her as she sat in Atul office popping her gum and looking very shaky as she waited for the results and looked over at Armaan standing as far away from her as possible at the other end of the office looking scared....But she was not surprised as she knew he react this way...
"Armaan the paternity test proves she you're!"
"I could have told you that!.what about the sample!"Riddhima asked getting of her chair unable to wait any longer.
"He does not match either?" Atul looked over at her eyes fill up as she slumped back into her seat hard and looked over at Atul as he looked over at Armaan.
"So what do we do now?" Armaan looked over at her as her voice quivered.
"We get a donor or....." Armaan looked at him shaking his head.
"You try for another baby..... Armaan closed his eyes composing himself 'no way Atul do you even think it!'
"A donor can take within 6-24months Armaan you know this,,,,if you try for a baby!!"Riddhima looked over at him adamant not to even listen he cares for himself and he made that clear before the test that he takes no responsibility for the child and he does not even care..Riddhima informed him she will not tell a soul and Atul agreed to just call him patient E on the records!.as the tears ran down her cheek she looked over at him beggin.
"I don't have anything! Dr Malik but my child please!" he looked over at her and sighed turning to leave the room.
He stared at the window through the blind as he saw her holding her child who looked so pale and colourless in her arm? he could see the Chemo was saving her and her jet black hair was falling out.... She had stage 2 cancer and needed a donor or she be on Chemo for the duration of her life....a donor is vital for her to survive...Armaan your a doctor you're job is to save lives.....
She looked over at him in Atul's office as he sat down next to her showing her the legal papers.
"I do this but this is the condition.I want no financial and no black mailing for any kind of support for these kids!" he spoken without any emotions and looked over at her grabbing the pen and signing the papers.
"Here!" he looked over at her move the papers towards him as he nodded.
"Armaan?" he turned to look over at Atul as he grabbed the papers. They both watched Riddhima grab her bag and leave the small office as Armaan got up..
"Yeah I know that look Atul....but what if she black mails me for money and then..."
"If she wanted to do that Armaan then she would have told you when she was carrying you're child!...look I don't know what you think about her but she a mother fighting to keep any hope of saving her child alive and this was a little harsh...as you blackmailed her daughters life ....for your own reason!" Atul stopped and looked over at him heading for the door. Armaan was a good friend but he was protecting Muskhan from this but he need to see what he was becoming just to keep this under wraps ....Armaan had agree to father another child but wanted no part or support and help after the baby was born for both children....maybe he wanted to start his own family with Muskhan and that was his priority ....Atul could not understand as he looked over at the phone ringing..
Armaan looked over at Riddhima hold her daughter in her arm...her daughter not mine he told himself again and again looking at them through the door window.See a faint smile appear on her lips as her mother sat on the large blue armchair with her in her arms...'Esha' he looked over at the whiteboard over the door with her name Esha Gupta patient 48918991 as he looked over at them he turned hearing the sound of laughter...the Children's wards was full with sick kids as he walked down the corridor hear sounds of laughter he looked over at a father holding his baby and just stopped looking at them.
Holding the small brown teddy bear in his hand he looked over at her tiny body in the white sheet of the large bead concealing her...Riddhima and the nurses had shaved her hair now and the honey brown locks where no longer there....she looked so fragile as she lay asleep....as he shifted his feet towards her....and sat near her on the bed..he looked over at her bruised arm due to the needles as thin as the size of a broom stick and the tube in her nose helping her to breath..and the monitors she was attached too....moving his trembling hand forward he placed the small brown bear wearing a blue ribbon bow near her as he got up he looked up to see Riddhima looking at him at the door.
He looked over at her in the hospital cafe he held her paper cup of coffee in her hand.
"She so bright !nothing like me! At all and when she smile she looks just prefect look!" he looked over at her as she placed the picture from her purse on the table..he looked at it she looked so happy feel from disease.
"Look I know this is hard for you Dr Malik....and you have you're own life and don't need this!I mean you're getting married and your life's mapped out for you!" he looked over at her taking hold of the photo.
"But she all I have!I mean I live just for her! she my reason for getting up in the morning and I don't know how I manage without her.I don't want anything in fact I give you what every you want just help me save her..." he looked at the tears running down her eyes as she looked so desperately at him.
"I am willing to help you...I have made the arrangement this weekend we are going to a cabin Atul has arrange and he told me you cycle is ready and stuff for you to have a baby. I will help you Riddhima but in return I don't want anyone know about this at all..I cant hurt Muskhan as Esha is you're everything!...Muskhan is mine!" he looked over at her wiping her tears and nodding at him.
"I promise I will never come into you're life again....me and kids will go far away from here!" he looked at her and nodded...seeing a fait smile on her lips.
The car drive was silent as he drove the hired car up the country road...he was dreading this not been able to sleep since he agreed to this? he was going to have sexual relationship with a women he hardly knew....last time he knew it was the drink and the mere fact he was lonely ....but now it was all different now.
He looked at her as she enter the bedroom it was a very small cabin away from city and as Atul had advised him the larder was stocked up with food..It was Atuls cabin he used to escape with his wife.. The wooded hard floor creaked as he stepped into the small open plan kitchen as he looked into the living room from the kitchen seeing the large sofa and a round wooden round table with 4 chairs in the corner.the brick fire place had wooden logs placed inside waiting to be lit and he took out the matches from the draw as Atul had advised him and head for the fire place.
He looked over at her seated next to him..her hair was wet as she had showered and he stared at the fire not know what he was to say....She looked over at him know he was having second thoughts and stared at the fire knowing Esha's life depended on this.. Moving closer to him she closed her eyes composing herself.. and place her hand on his looking at him moved slightly away....hesitantly..
"I am sorry I cant do this!" she looked over at him getting up..
"I cant do this to Muskhan again....I means! she freak knowing I have a child and now I am going to have another with the same woman!" Riddhima looked over at him placing his hands in his hair and turned away from her completely.He look so lost like he was battling hard inside and not knowing what to do.
He turned around to see her in the kitchen grabbing two empty glasses and taking hold of the scotch bottle and opening the lid over at the kitchen area? Riddhima looked over at him as he sat back down she knew he would back out and knew what she had to do?Atul had given her a Virga powered as she poured the drink she emptied it his glass with the scotch.....She held the glasses and handed him the drink.
"Just take it easy....I understand this is hard for you!" she looked over at him gulp down the scotch like water as he got up and head for the kitchen to grab the bottle. Place the glass to her lips she looked at him sitting down next to her and pouring another drink.
"I been in love with Muskhan since college...and after Seeatle...she came back from India and I confessed I loved her! I cant loose that.." he looked at her as she moved closer to him taking the glass from his hand feeling her body leaning against him he felt her fingers on his face..
"You will not loose anything!" she whispered moving on top of him.
"But I cant ..." He whispered back feeling something strong stirring within him now..
"I will make sure you never will!" she whisper feeling his hands around her waist knowing the drug was effecting him now....she kissed him on the lips....he was unable to control himself now he need to have her....he looked over at her panting feeling as he pulled her towards him hard.
"You drugged me?"he whispered now unable to control the strong urge bulging within him..as he looked over at her angrily and stood up looking at her nodding on the sofa.
Taking hold of her hand he dragged her to the bedroom... and looked over at her as he threw her hard on the bed like a rag doll...
"You want this that badly?" he shouted grabbing her leg and pulling her back as she just looked over at him nodding.
"This mean's life and death for me!Docotor!" she whispered feeling his hand unbuttoning her jeans....she looked over at him wanting to explode as he pushed down her jeans and looked at her close her eyes....hearing the creaking wooden floor board she opened her eyes to see him standing there naked before him as he moved onto the bed.
"Now this for me means nothing ....you are nothing to me but a lifeless body." Pulling her hard towards him she felt his hands pulling up her t-shirt and throw it on the floor. the drug was affecting his sense as looked at her....he moved forward and kissed her...she closed her eyes hearing him grunting as the tears escaped her eyes feeling him now hurting her.... but she lay still as she was doing this for Esha....she told herself feeling him stop....
He looked over at her as she walked out of the bathroom....he had hurt her all night long but he did not care....she drugging him to get his seed inside her and he felt totally used and he grabbed the towel and walked past her as he stopped and looked at her sit on the bed and silently sob...closing the door bathroom door he closed his eyes hearing the creaking wooden floor boards as he heard her moving in the room... as he looked over at the streamed mirror he looked over at the lipstick message.
"Sorry Armaan....but you left me No Choice like you cant hurt Muskhan!... too cant see Esha in pain anymore....Seeing my child suffer everyday is killing me and I will take any punishment from you and god! from a desperate mother Riddhima.." opening the bathroom door he looked over at her pulling down the white t-shirt over her shoulders and he saw bruise on her body he given her and she not once moved or complaint just took it his torture all night as he hit her calling her filthy names and hurt her badly throughout the night....She turned to look over at him as he stepped forward and moved back in lower her head and moving her hands up onto her chest in a kind of defensive way....he stepped forward and looked at her with the swallow lip he kissed to harshly and cursed himself..Taking hold of her shoulder he pulled her close to him holding her as she broken down in tears....he held her in his arms till she stopped crying and went to sleep...Holding her and not saying anything he pulled up the covers on the bed and just looked at her.... Maybe he was wrong about her?
She opened the bedroom door to find him on the phone smiling...he had that same dimple smile that Esha had as she moved to the Kitchen area.
"Muskhan I so miss you!" He looked over at Riddhima in the Kitchen area opening the larder and walked over towards the window and looked over at the meadow filled with flowers
"No I just been busy ...I got this new case I am working on....No I will not work so hard but you're not here...so I'm very lonely.... I got the new house arranged with the kitchen how you want it!....Bedroom colour? ..Oh Ok I get that sorted too.... I love you too.Bye!" he ended the phone and turned to see she was gone and went to the kitchen and looked over at the pots she took out and looked to see her return.
"I was think of cooking something ...are you hungry?" she asked avoiding his gaze.
"Riddhima about last night !....I was rough and I am..."
"It's ok! You where angry....and felt used and hurt Its just Atul told me to give the drug if I thought you were?" he looked over at her pouring the olive oil in the pan and grabbing the eggs.
"Here Muskhan say I make a mean omelette ..." she looked over at him taking over the pan and the cheese.
"Please let me cook!"she whispered looking at him as he nodded his head.
He looked over at the small dinner she had prepared on the wooden table....as she placed the red wine bottle on the table.. as he sat down...the was nothing much to amuse themselves with and he was telling her stories of how he met Muskhan and his family as she listen or silently and nodded.
"So tell me about your self Riddhima!" he looked over at her
"Nothing to tell just me and Esha....When dad found out I was pregnant he threw me out of the house as I refused to terminate the pregnancy and it's just me and her!" he looked over at her looking away into space.
"Oh must have been hard!" she looked back at him.
"No not really! Esha was with me every step of the way....we got each other.." she whispered back at him grabbing the wine.
He looked at her blankly as she silently ate her meal
"Did you not want to find me! Tell me you where carrying my child?" she looked at him blankly
"Why? I mean I too was lonely that night ....it was just two people wanting to feel love ..I mean I never promise you anything and neither did you. why would I?" he looked at her as she honestly answered his question.
"Did you not want to know? Who's child you where carrying? What type of man I was?" he looked at her shaking her head.
"I have learnt along time ago never to expect anything from anyone and you are just a mere stranger to me....and now if Esha was not so sick....you would never have known.If I was so cross you in the street you would never have looked twice at me!and when Esha grows up she know her father saved her life" He just stared at her
"What if you asked you about me what do would you say?" he looked over at her pushing her plate forward.
"That you are a kind and decent man....how saves lives?" he picked up the wine glass and nodded his head.
"If she wanted to met me?"he asked looking at her
"Dr Malik I have signed those papers ...these children will never come to you for anything!...reset assure ..i promise you!..." he was taken back and remember the papers and nodded.He watched her get up and pick up the dishes.
"I get them since you cooked!" he said getting up to assist her..
"I need to keep busy as I am missing Esha a lot!" he looked over at her eyes swelling up and nodded seeing her walk over to the kitchen.
Feeling her presence in the bed he turned over and looked over at her as she lay in bed ....hearing her muffled sobs he moved forward and took hold of her from behind and held her....She turned around to see him as he gentle wiped her tears and she clinked to him feeling the security of his arms....he looked down at her and kissed her lips....feeling something completely different he sound her kissing him back!
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Joined: 11 October 2005
He sat on the armchair with Esha asleep in his arms for the first time and looked over at Riddhima sitting on the bed?it had been over a month now and he was kind of looking at things in a different way since there weekend away... He never saw her as he was busy setting up the beach house and Muskhan had come back home...he sighed in relief as he stood at the airport to greet her. It was as if it had been a life time since he saw her like he lived a bad nightmare and just need her back to reassure him of the last past 3 year of them and there dreams.
"Guys good news Riddhima is pregnant" Armaan smiled looking over at Atul and looked over at Riddhima sigh in relief..
"Will the child match I mean?" Armaan and Atul looked over at her as she looked concerned.
"I mean I don't match and Dr Malik does not and..." Armaan got up with Esha asleep in his arms and sat next to her on the bed.
"We can only hope that the lord will give us a miracle now " he looked over at her eyes looking so some hope and looked over at Atul as he came forward.
"Riddhima! we can just hope this works and I am 100% it will...now Riddhima we got to look after you make sure you eating properly and make sure the baby is strong and health to help there big sister!" Atul said looking over at her to see a smile.
"Wow Esha! You?re goin to be a big sister!" she whispered taking hold of Esha hand and looked over at Armaan.
Atul looked over Armaan in his office as he sat down on the chair in front of him seeping coffee.
"How is Muskhan?" Armaan looked down at the black coffee avoiding Atuls gaze.
"She fine! She organising her father 60th Birthday party in a fortnight.." Armaan answered looking at him nodding his head.
"Look Armaan you're going to get married soon it's not far I mean 4 months is around the corner ..don't you think?"
"I was planning to tell her after we come back from our honeymoon Atul...then the baby will be born and Esha will be fine as well. We both decided then how we tackle to issue.." Atul looked at him raising his eyebrow.
"I know what your thinking...but Muskhan just slowly getting over her mothers dead last year....and she organising this birthday party for her father and I don't want her worried or stressed about anything..." Armaan got up from his seat and turned to the window in the office.
"I know she never forgive me but when we married she see for herself I never met of any of this to happen! and she will not leave me...fine she be upset and we work it out" he added turning to face him
"Riddhima?" Armaan narrowed his gaze at him as he stepped forward.
"She know how I feel!" Armaan said looking at him
"I know Muskhan needs you Armaan but so does Riddhima ...what I mean is as a friend?" Atul said to see him nod his head.
"She a fighter she be ok! she was fine with Esha and this will not be hard either...not for someone like her!" Atul looked at him he was fighting it very hard and just wanted it all to end it was plain to see Riddhima was just a somebody.
"I think the fighter spirits been knock somewhat ...I' m concerned about her health and state of mind...she is staying here during the day and then working at the news room during the night...but I guess she'll find away as she a fighter like you said!" Atul looked at his face softner and he nodded at him..
"Bye Atul! Muskhan cooking this evening I better get back.."Atul nodded seeing him walk towards the door.
As he looked over at Muskhan he smiled as she told him about what she did today but Riddhima kept playing his mind no matter how many time he tried to get her out of his mind she appear again?
"ARMAAN!" He looked over at Muskhan shaking her head at
"Away with the fairies are we?" he smiled looking at her giggling as he looked at her grab the dishes..
"Ok you cooked so I get these!" he said looking at her smiling as she leaned forward and kissed his cheek.
"Hmm I think I got you trained well Mr Malik!" he looked at her giggling as she stepped back as he got up to grab her..
"Muskhan!" he looked at her as she ran towards the kitchen as he followed...he took hold of her and hug her..
"God how I've missed you!" he said kissing her forehead in his hold.
"I missed you to baby! now you going to tell me what's going on?" he released her and looked at her...there was nothing he could not tell her she would always read him.
"You're so distracted since I have been back?" she said looking at him as he sighed in relief..
"Just a cancer case I am working on!"he said turning toward the dinning room again.
"Oh Ok sorry honey...patient going to be ok?" she asked touching his arm as he picked up the dishes.
"We hope so she just 3 years old ...seen nothing in life...she suffering everyday.."feeling his voice quivered he looked over at Muskhan as she looked over at him and hugged him.
"It's a cruel world Armaan! gosh I can just imagine what her mother must be going through She'll be fine Armaan!....after all she got you looking after them!" she tiptoed and kissed his forehead as she turned and took hold of the dishes and disappeared .. But I am not looking after them Muskhan he thought feeling the lone tear running down his cheek.
He stood holding the large brown paper bag full of fruit and food as he knocked on the door of the apartment...the area as he drove up was not the best and he saw how run down some of the houses where...as he knocked on the large red door. Hearing the chain being pulled he ....looked over at her open the door.
"Dr Malik?" she gasped surprised to see him as he placed her hand through her hair she just woke up due to the knocking and felt embarrassed standing in front of him in her sleeping attire as he smiled at her.
"Can I come in?!" he asked seeing the door open fully...he looked over at the brown run down carpet of the apartment but it was clean and you could tell she was not a untidy person he looked over at the sofa bed as she started to do the sheets...to tidy it up.
"I am sorry not what you imagine ...just a small one bedroom apartment and kitchen with a small bathroom. if I get this promotion I can move from here but freelancing does not pay as much..." He looked over at her rambling and walked over to the kitchen area and placed the large bag on the counter....as she just watched him opening the cupboards and put things away like as if he lived in the place...he open the cupboards and found everything was tidy and had it's place and was surprised as he placed the can food away and open the fridge to find it empty with a few eggs and milk he placed the fruit and milk, bread and eggs in the fridge and looked up at her stand beside him
"Dr?" she looked over at him slightly confused as he closed the small fridge and looked at her.
"You've got to eat for Esha right!" he looked over at her as she nodded her head at him.
"But you don't have to? ...so why?" she asked looking at him shifting his weight and grab a knife from the draw and looked over at the red apple in his hand...as he sliced the apple in half and looked over at her wanting an answer.
"I wanted to....Atul and I will make sure you and baby are well!" he said avoiding her eyes and slicing the apple again.
"Ouch" he hissed as she grabbed his finger and placed it in her mouth as he just stared at her stunned to see her reaction..
"Idiot man!...can't even cut an apple and they let you operate?.." she said placing the plaster on his finger as he smirked looking at her.
"I better be going...take care of your self Riddhima!" he said picking up his keys he stopped as he saw the large box near the door and looked at her.
"It was Esha crib I got it out of storage for the baby!" he looked at it and over at her and nodded his head.
"I come round next week and set it up !" he said placing his hand on the door feeling her hand on his shoulder he turned and looked back at her questioning eyes.
"Armaan I don't want you to come here again...I don't need you're help! you have to think of Muskhan ..please I don't want to cause any more grief and stuff" he looked over at her eyes swelling up but the truth was he need to do this.. he wanted to make it a little better for her as it was the right thing to do?he left go of the door and took hold of her in his arms.
"Riddhima crying is not good for the baby and...you have to think of Esha...I put the kettle on why don't you get into bed...we can talk!" he looked at her still looking confused and smiled as he lead her into the cramped tidy room.
"Hey Doctor!" he smiled as he held Muskhan in his arms on the dance floor. The birthday bash for her father was at full swing and he was feeling slightly better..he was spending time looking after Riddhima and then see Esha at the hospital she could not speak with the tubes but she was making so much progress with the help of the chemo...Muskhan and him where spending time with the wedding arrangement as they were now 4 months left the venue was booked and the menu selected ?.and there was so much more he need to do...but the party was making him feel restless and he could not pin point why. He was dancing with Muskhan but it was as if his heart and soul her not connecting as if he was need else where.
"Muskhan you happy!" he whispered in her ear as she nodded her head at him
"Are you happy Armaan?" the simple question left him tongue tied..
* Bring Bring*
As he placed the phone to his ear..Muskhan watched the colour drain from his face and she knew it must be a case he was working on....she looked over at him lost as he stepped of the dance floor holding her by the waist.
"It's Esha!" Muskhan watched him running out of the hall and looked worried he never reacted like that before...
Armaan looked over at Atul as he lowered his face outside the room...as Armaan knew that look...he often told his patients the same news with the same look.
"She will not release her Armaan...you have too!" feeling like he been kicked in the face ...how could god be so cruel as to make a child suffer so much and let a mother just watch the light fade away... he pushed open the door and looked over at her as she held Esha lifeless body in her arms rocking her back and forth.. she was humming a song she told him she could not remember the words and only the tune and she hum it to Esha so she could sleep. Armaan walked towards her and she did not notice him as he kneelled down on the floor and looked at her staring at Esha rocking gentle..
"Riddhima?" he whispered scared and unsure what he was going to do. This was never in the lectures he attened medical college for or in the books he studied...how was he going to tell her Esha was dead she died in her sleep her small tiny body could no longer fight and he looked down at Esha with her eyes closed looking so peaceful ...feeling his own eyes swelling up.
"Riddhima... Esha... "
"Shh Doctor...she's a sleep!" she whispered trying to fight back tears as she looked at him. He moved his hands forward and took Esha away from her as she looked at him feeling the warm moisture running down her face.
"Doctor.." he heard her gasping as she called out to him as he held the body of his lifeless child in his arms and pulled her close to him ..feeling his own tears running down his face... as he stepped away....he stopped feeling her arms around his leg as she cried out.
"Esssshhaaa....aaaaaa" he closed his eyes hearing her crying out loud. As he pulled Esha's limp cold body close to him and looked down at her heart broken mother....as she cried uncontrollable taking her name in between breathes...
"Armaan I've given her a sedative..." Armaan nodded as he looked over at Atul.
"Atul keep her here for the next few days...I will pay the bill!...I will sort out the funeral and everything..." Atul looked over at him as his expression said it all?he was running away from this and now he got to tackle it.
"The funeral is paid for and so is Riddhima bill!" Armaan looked over at him as he placed his hand on his shoulder.
"Riddhima's part of a government program scheme you know Armaan!"
Muskhan looked at him as he stumbled into the door as she looked at him.
"Armaan did you not get my message...I have been worried sick....and the Rick told me you're not on call and ..... she looked over at him walking into his study and closing the door. she was stunned he never just ignored her like that?
Pulling out the brown teddy bear from his blazer pocket his placed it to his face and sobbed....
Muskhan looked over at Armaan at the breakfast table...for the past few days he had been so distant and when she tried to reach out to him he was cold.This case of his had effected him so much and she did not know what to do or say as he was off his food and his eyes displayed something she never seen before?
"Armaan?" Muskahn looked over at him lifting his head to see her
"What the matter?" she probed looking at him as he looked down at the bowl full of cheerio?s and milk?and sighing
"Muskhan I have told you nothing....I been think about mom a lot lately and stuff.."he said avoiding hers but the truth was he was thinking about mom and Esha a lot since it been 4 days now.
"You should go and see Uncle!" he looked over at her and nodded
"I was going to ask you if you did not mind me going to see him for a few days in the city..." she looked at him maybe this would be good for him as he need some closure with his father...since his mother died. He looked at her he need to spend time with his father and the funeral was arranged for the weekend he had loads to sort out and wanted to be out of Muskhan's way he looked over at her as she nodded and smiled faintly.He was hurting her as well he knew it but he would explain after the marriage he thought! I don't want to lose her as well! I just cant reaching forward he took hold of her hand.
"Muskhan I am sorry!" he saw the confusion in her eyes and saw her small gesture through her eyes and released her hand.
"Its ok Armaan! I know you tell me in your own time!" he looked over at her getting up and nodded his head...
He took in a deep sigh and knocked on the door ...he had been driving around the block thinking about what he was going to say as to why he was there. Since she was released from the hospital he knew she had no one to share her grief with...and he had Muskhan and Atul to burden ...while she had no one...feeling heavy hearted he knocked on the door again... hearing the door chain rattling he saw it slightly open and looked over at her. Her eyes where red and she looked a mess as she opened the door full letting him in...as he walked in the apartment he saw the curtains draw as the sun seeped into the cracks of the beige curtains bring in only a little light...it was the middle of the afternoon and she had the curtains draw ...the place was tidy as he noticed and looked over at her standing by the door.
"Dr Malik I've told you before.....you should not come here.." her voice was weak and he looked over at her as she enter the kitchen area. He looked over at her as she turned the tap and fill up the electric kettle.
"Me and ugh...Atul are worried about you so.." he said struggling him to understand why he was there as he told his father he would be there later this evening after work but he had finished his case load and just was drawn this way unknown to him...
"I am fine!" she mumbled pushing the button on the kettle... he looked over at her as she took out two mugs from under the kitchen cupboard. He looked over at the computer desk in the corner and noticed the picture of Esha when she was a baby and took hold of the frame..
"She was 8 weeks premature...It was the first time in my life I was so scared, she was a little bigger then my palm 4lbs and 9oz?at 21:27 21st December 2004 my little small thanksgiving gift!" he looked over at her and look so distant.
"That was when I decided I have only one chance at getting this right and changed my self for her!"she added turning to open the fridge.. he placed the frame down gentle and looked over at the other photo's on the desk nothing but a smile and bright hazel eyes full of life and hope in her picture'Esha n Mom' he turned and saw her hand him a cup of coffee.
"White and no sugar!" he nodded as he took hold of the white handle mug
"I was just packing her stuff, give it to someone who needs it!" he looked over at the box on the floor and the neatly folded clothes on the sofa...as she sat down and picked up a few dresses in her hand and placed them so fondly in the box.
"You should keep some I mean for the baby!" he said shifting his weight towards her and looked over at her not meeting his gaze
"I have kept the baby stuff just the dress I am giving away....there a small girl like Esha's age in the apartment below '''her mother is really struggling since her husband died in a gang attack and I was going to give her a box of things..they will help someone I guess" her voice quivered slightly as he notice her hand trembling fingers reach out and pick up a small dress he looked at the way she placed it so gentle on her lap and placed her hand on it so tenderly as if her child was in her lap.
"She looked so pretty in pink!" she mumbled as he looked over at her feeling nothing but his own spirit being torn apart looking at her as she mechanically acted like a robot folding the clothes and placing them in the brown cardboard box...he looked at her staring at the contents of the box as he stood rooted to the floor looking at her green eyes filled with nothing but sorrow and pain.
"It's funny how you can feel so empty!" she whispered looking over at the box.
"I always hoped never once did I ever dream, I would see this day...not been able pick her up in my arms...to see her grow up.I was saving for her college and put just a very small bit away for her marriage too..now that all gone as I am just left with memories and this pain which does not go away?" he looked at her as the tears just ran down her face as she just look over at the box. He looked over at her in tears not know how to help her...how she selfless gave herself to nothing but her child.. placing the cup down on the small coffee table he gentle sat down next to her..
"I don't know what to say? for the last couple days over my mind I have gone over the medical reports looking for a clue as to why this has happened and...I only come up with the fact her body was to small to with stand the chemo and we performed every test possible and where unable to ..." He looked over at her as she touched his arm looked at him.
"Dr Malik?.this was not your fault! Please do not blame your self. You are a good man and did everything medically possible...this was not anyone's faultb It was her time to go she battled with it for 4 months and could not cope." He looked over at her and closed his eyes..
"She at peace now Dr Malik!" he opened his eyes to look at her.
"Go home to your fiance nd please dont think about Esha and me...your patient has passed away, just file your case doctor as on many occasions you can not save them all and you did your level best..." Riddhima looked over at him...he looked like he was hurting but he need to be told the truth ...Esha and her where just a case and nothing more but he wanted salvation and she was giving it to him..he had a life and everything he dreamed off he should enjoy that...her dream was shattered turned to ash never will she forget Esha and what she brought to her life.
"I think you should leave now!" she said getting up from the sofa...he looked over at her and nodded.
"I have arranged the funeral for Sunday morning..." He said looking at her as she nodded.
"Dr Joshi had told me that you are paying for the it....please wait a moment Dr Malik!" he looked over at her walking to the computer desk and open a draw.
"I know it not much but 2thousand dollar....I saved it for her college? I want you to have it!" he looked over at her handing him over the envelop as he shook his head.
"There were just some bond in her name?Dr Malik!"she said stepping forward close to him.
"Riddhima keep it you need it for the baby!" he said looking at her as she shook her head.
"This is Esha's money!" she looked over at him and took hold of his hand and place the envelope in it.
"Thank you Dr Malik for everything!"she said looking at him staring at the envelope.
"Why are you doing this to me?" she looked over at him as he looked hurt
"I understand you hate me...but let me do this one thing for you!" she looked at him as his voice quivered.
"I hurt you! I was drunk! Seduced you and made love to you ....and I threw the money in your face and walked out the hotel door not believing you...you came back into my life not because you wanted to but because you had to for Esha...and there I treated you badly again again and again...wanting not to believe she was mine!" she looked at him drop onto his knees
"She was my daughter and I pushed her away...i just did want to accept her and when I did she .faded away....please Riddhima let me do this for her I have too" she looked at him sobbing feeling her own tears and she just looked at him?feeling his arms around her he held her.
"Esha was my daughter Riddhima!! please let me..." his voice quivered holding her?.
Taking the spare key out of his wallet he placed it into the lock and stepped into the house he smelt that familiar fragrance and walked into the house expecting to see hear her voice....Armaan you home!. but there was no voice now no one ever cried out for him...walking into the living room he noticed how Dad and never moved her things and everything was in its placed as he looked over to see a picture or Lord Ram and Sita with the candle burning and the Cross bearing Jesus...his mother was catholic. Everyone morning as long as he could remember he saw them both at the small shire in the right hand corner on the room as the shelve had the picture of Ram and Jesus stood side by side with one candle burning slowly ..Armaan man divided god! But he is everywhere and in everything?and in our house we worship him no matter what religion...she tell him as he smiled and nodded. Dad would just kiss her on the cheek and pat his head leaving for the door to go to the hospital. Mom was everything to him his friend and his guide forever stirring him in the right direction.
"Armaan!" his fathers voice boomed in his ears as he turned to see him..
"What's wrong?"Ashok looked over sensing something was up when he called him as he stepped forward he was surprised as he felt his arms around him as he sobbed
Ashok looked at him as he told him everything ...and handed him a bottle of beer.
"Hmm Beta!" Armaan looked over at him he only said beta when he wanted to explain something to him.
"This girl is pregnant with your child and Muskhan who you marrying does not know?" Armaan nodded his head taken the beer bottle to his mouth.
"Hmm son! I think I need to tell you some home truths..." Armaan looked over at him as he looked over at his mother picture on the wall.
"I never knew freedom Armaan as in India I lived only for my parents never myself. When I got the opportunity to come to America I took it but there was a condition..."Ashok looked over at Armaan
"Pitaji wanted me to marry is best friends daughter Jaya...we knew each other for ages since childhood but we never loved each and never actually looked at each other in that way.On evening Jaya called me asking to see me before the engagement. I agreed that was when I met Vinod her boyfriend! That evening they both explained that they loved each other and if I was to engage Jaya and leave for America and then refuse to marry her later on see my work visa was for 2 years and I agreed. In those days the girl hardly refused if the boy side was willing and I said yes because of pitaji.. We got engaged! heck I was engaged to a woman who never loved me but someone else and both families where happy.I came here to America and worked for 17 months when I got a phone call. It was Jaya she told me she messed up and was pregnant with Vinods child. I was like surprised as she sobbed on the phone! She said you have to save me...or baba will kill me. I thought heck I am in America they cant blame me but Pitaji called me told me Jaya was crying saying you found a white woman and ...well you can guess the rest! Jaya made up lies about what I was doing here..My Visa got extended and I moved here to Washington...Pitaji broke all ties with me and I my sister Shanti and brother Sanjay where not allowed to talk to me...I thought it would take some time to died down..but the families where on the verge of war and in stepped hero Vinod and married Jaya...anyway during this time I was tense Pitaji would not take my calls and Shanti and Amma would cry...that was when your mother stepped into my life..I never forget she was an replacement Nurse in OP and Armaan it just clicked?. I cant explain it..when we spoken it was like I just wanted to speak to her...and we kind of meet at the medical parties and stuff. I tried to fight it but just could not.Beta I fell in love.." Armaan looked over at his father telling him everything as he eyes where on Mom's picture on the wall.
"Everything at home was going
sour...within 4 months of marriage Vinod showed his true colours and
blackmailed Jaya parents for money other word he was going to walk out
of her life...Shanti told me Jaya mother would curse them in the bazaar
and Amma used to be crying in her room...I started to share my life
with Maria and told her everything she told me to go home clear up the
misunderstanding. Amma got seriously ill and I sent money over and
Pitaji was worried he called me and shouted on the phone...I love my
Janki and because of you! that when I knew she died! Shanti told me
she had a heart attack and passed away. Everyone blamed me..Maria
packed my bags and told me to leave straight away...she dropped me of
the airport and kissed me goodbye! I had this feelin I was never going
to see her again! As I got checked in I decided to call India Shanti
advised not to come at all...Bhaiya it not a good time...Chuto's done
Amma rights and that hurt Beta not been able to do my mothers rights.
I hated Jaya for everything and cursed my fate as I did nothing! Shanti
made me promise not to come to India until she said I agreed. As I
left the airport I spotted Maria and her sister heading for the doors
and heard Cella blast her...Are you really that stupid?.your carrying
his child and sent him to India.
He not coming back stupid and Ma is going to kill you. I froze totally and looked over at her Armaan. If he comes back it meant to be if not I have my child... I just placed my hand on her shoulder and she turned crying and I confessed I loved her! we got married Armaan and she named you from some Hindu naming book...she wanted to teach you everything but still keep part of our culture.. you came into our lives Armaan and then your mother wanted another child and then she had a miscarriage with Sonu...that was when he just shut me out Armaan I never knew how to reach her there was complications and she could not have any more children...how she wanted a large family and it never happened...then she was depressed someday I come in and she be sitting there waiting for you to come home from football practise and just pick on little things and fight with me.I knew it was her trying to get it out of her system and would not say anything. When we discovered cancer she just broken down Armaan.I was upset myself but I need to look after you both...But the rest you know? I miss her everyday of my life Armaan..Shanti calls and say bhaiya come home but I refused my home is here with Maria in his house!" Armaan looked over at him in the first time in his life never ever saw his father looking fragile but the truth was he loved her and missed her too...
"Beta I dont know what to tell you to do! And if Maria was here she say follow your heart beta!The answer to your question is something you lone have to discover. But when you look back you find me there with you..." feeling his fathers hand on his shoulder he nodded his head.
"I want to come to bury my grand daughter Armaan" Ashok looked at him nodding his head.
Mein jahan raho
Mein kahin bhi hoo
Teri yaad saaath hai
Kisi se kahun
Ke Nahi kahun
Yeh jo dil
Ki Baat hai
Kehne Ko saath
Appne Ek duniya chalti hai
Per chupke is dil mein tanhai Palti hai
Bas yaad Saath hai
Teri yaad saaath hai
Riddhima stood at the grave yard seeing the white coffin holding the most precious thing in her life.She looked over at Armaan and his father present as her heart cried for her...Seeing the white box slowly lowered to the bottom her tears streamed down her face ....Ashok looked at the hurt on her face and just placed his hand on her shoulder..Feeling her sinking into his body he looked over at Armaan trying to look strong as he stood just memorised seeing the white box disappear...as the earth hide her away fro ever.
Mein jahan raho
Mein kahin bhi hoo
Teri yaad saaath hai
Kahin to Dil mein yaadon ki
Ek suli gad jaati hai
Kahin har ek Tasveer bhahut hi dhondhali pad jati hai
Koi nai duniya ke naye rango mein khush rehta hai
Koi sab kuch paake bhi yeh maan hi maan kehta hai
Kehne Ko saath
Appne Ek duniya chalti hai
Per chupke is dil mein tanhai Palti hai
Bas yaad Saath hai
Teri yaad saaath hai
He looked at her as he dropped her home she was so silent and she just stared into space ...he notice her hold his father and cry her heart out as she just said "beta you have to be strong think about the life now in you!" he noticed his father place a envelope in her bag as she went to the bathroom at the restaurant and he looked at him as he nodded.
"Riddhima?" he looked over at her surprised.
"This place has to many memories for me and I have too..." he nodded at her as she looked at him.
"Where will you go?"he asked looking at her pulling out a train ticket.
"I got a small job with a marketing firm and I need something stable so.." he nodded looking at her.
"I guest this is goodbye!" she added looking at him with his hands in his pocket looking shocked byt the new but she need to up hold the contract he need closure he had done what he needed to now it was her turn.
"If you ever need anything..."he said as she looked at him.
The silent between them uncomfortable as he turned to the door.
"Dr Malik ?can I ask ?" he turned looking at her and stepped closer
"I should not ask? but could you kiss me goodbye?! he looked at her alittle confused and moved forward?..feeling her lips on his as he held her..
Kahin to bete kal ki jade
Dil mein hi utar jaati hai
kahin jo dhage tute to
Malayen bhikar jaati
Koi dil mein jagah nai baaton ke liye rakhta hai
Koi apni palko per
Yadon ke diye rakhta hai
"Armaan!" he looked over at Muskhan feeling her arms around him as he stared though the window.
"I love you!" her words made him sigh as he placed his hand on hers...Muskhan smiled huggin him and pulled him towards the bed as he looked over at her and knew what she wanted but just could not.
"Mus ..khan.." she looked over at him and hugged him..as she release him she looked up at him and kissed him gentle as he placed his hand on her shoulders and pulled himself free gently...she looked at him as he closed his eyes at her..
"Armaan?" her eyes questioned him as he turned and sat down on the bed.
"Muskhan Ive had a long day and..." he looked up at her turning to walk away and sighed.
"What is it Armaan? I come near you and you tell me to back off and.."he looked over at her in tears and cursed himself as he to did not know what was going on as he was off everything.
"I don't know Muskhan? I can't explain?" he looked at her confused look and shook her head.
"If youve got cold feet about getting married tell me now!" she asked looking at him as he turned away from her and unbuttoned his shirt.
"Muskhan I don't know...maybe I am not ready!" he mumbled avoiding looking at her she glared at him in tears...after a 3 year relationship he was shutting her out and she could not understand why, since she got back from India he was distant when ever she reached for him he pushed her away.
"Armaan? Please talk to me!" she pleaded as he looked at her what do I say Muskhan as I myself dont know what it is Im tried to get over it but...
"You met someone?" her voice hit him hard as he looked away from her..he felt her hand on his shoulder as she pushed him to face her and looked away.
"Armaan?" he looked at her and sighed maybe telling her everything will help he placed her hands on her shoulder and sat her down on the bed.
"Muskhan hear me out..." He stared at her as he spoken explained the situation and how he wanted so much to save Esha and how Riddhima was desperate about her child and he explained it all looking at her stern face not blinking as he looked at her as he stopped.
"Where is she now?" she asked looking at him.
"I don t know Muskhan and"she saw his facial expression sadden as she got up of the bed.
"Get some sleep Armaan...were talk in the morning.." he looked at her not reaction not screaming at him as she pulled back the covers.
"We'll discuss this all in the morning...i think what you have said is enough today.." he looked at her pulling his hand to the bed there was nothing no emotions.. as he got into the bed he looked at her snuggling up to him how she normally did and close her eyes'. Letting out a heavy sigh he stared at the ceiling...
Turning over he felt nothing there and opened his eyes she was gone as he got up he looked around the bedroom...he walked downstairs tying his robe and looked over at her in the kitchen cooking something...as he looked at her puzzled.
"Why did you keep this from me?" she asked seeing him as he pulled out a stool and looked over at her ..kneed the dough
"I was scared I think initially....but then I needed to do this as she was my child..." He thought about the whole thing in detail analyzed himself with the whole situation he looked over at her as she rolled out the pastry with the rollin pin.
"I guess my love is not as strong as I though as you where scared too..." he looked over at her and sigh
"Muskhan this is about me not you! You have done nothing wrong here I was the one who hid Riddhima and Esha from you and my child growing in her womb..." she looked over at him.
"What is she like?" she asked looking at him placing the rolling pin down.
"Average build, green eyes attractive.." he said looking at her.
"And you thought she was a prostitute and ..."
"What Armaan before you even said you liked me you slept with a stranger who you thought was a **** and now you saying it just me and the reason is you love her" Armaan looked over at her angry glaze.
"If you loved me you would have told me what was going on instead of hidding behind my back how do I know this has not happen before and you have hid it .Be honest Armaan you have a very strong bond with her and had sex with her again god know how many times if I did not press you and she came back you would"
"MUSKHAN!" she looked at him getting up.
"She's never coming back...never asked me for a penny...I never saw her until she knocked on the door..when ever I was with her she say ....go home to your girlfriend...never wanted anything from me...always telling me I am kind and.." he looked at her in tears in stopped.
"I made her sign legal documents...you know her child was on her death bed and I asked her to sign legal papers that she was never to get any financial help..only then I help her...I basically black mailed Esha life..." he sunk in his chair and lowered his head.
"She was only 3 years old Muskhan....she looked so happy when I went to see her ..as if she knew I was her dad... I watch her go to sleep and cry holding Riddhima as she felt the long needle go into her arm...I dont even have a picture of my daughter Muskhan ....to even remember her by...and now Riddhima is alone...carrying my child and..." feeling her arms around him he sobbed holding her'
He looked at her getting into the cab as she left....Truth was he did not know what he wanted and Muskhan too needed time she called her dad and explained she was coming to see him. Armaan knew looking into her eyes she wanted to get away from him and he did not blame them..if he was in there shoes he would not want to see him either. As he closed the door he looked down at the letters at on the wooden floor.. He picked up the letter and sighed reading it..
'Dear Mr Malik
Your new house is ready and as agreed we have a tenant for you apartment. As per the contract you have 2 weeks to vacant the property.....
Axion property limit'
He sighed looked as the memories Muskhan and him had embedded into the apartment were all lost now and he sighed ...walking in.
"Sorry Armaan! Atul looked over at him as in his office
"Its all my fault Atul! I should have been honest!'" Armaan said taking hold of the paper cup full of hot coffee.
"Hmm I think you need time off to get over Esha and everything" Atul looked over at him..
Muskhan left him two week ago and he told him that she called it all off she was hurt about the level of trust he had in her and there love and Armaan just accepted it. He was so into her and know it was as if did not care at all...it was like he was expecting the news and not once fight for her to return.. He was still not over Esha death and bereavement effected people in many ways and Armaan need a break as he was driving it work and the long hours of work never worked either.
"Hmm im moving the house this weekend and Lloyds giving me time off to settle things" he said looking at Atul ...how he planned to move in with Muskhan as his wife and now he was going to be alone ...but that what that what he deserved to be lone and nothing more. He hurt Muskhan and could not even face her as she just looked totally hurt he called her and tried but she like ...you never trust me Armaan you daughter died and you never even thought about telling me ...as it effected US not you. I cant marry someone who hides secrets Armaan. And does not believe in me or my love... and she was right and accepted it all..
He looked around the luxuries house on the beach as he saw the sun setting from the wooden decked balcony .sitting on the sun lounge.Muskhan had decorated the whole house as she wished and he left it all the same not touching a think...as he closed his eyes he heard a muffled cry on the beech and looked up to see a silhouette figure sitting on the sand dune a few distance away from him... squinting his eyes he tried to see using his hand the shield the bright rays but the sunlight was blurring the figure as he saw the figure get up and collapse.
He ran out and gasped seeing Riddhima on the sand unconscious ....
"Dad?" he held the phone to his ear as he looked at her in bed.
"BP 120 ....quite high and her pulse is steady.."
"Beta what about the baby?" Armaan nodded lifting up her t-shirt he gentle place his hand on her stomach as it was warm and soft he held the phone on his shoulder balancing it as he placed his hands on her stomach to feel the baby
"Looks ok to me and your the expert here with babies dad?...I got a strong beat.Im an urologist remember " He gasped
"What?" a small smile formed on his lips.
"I felt an leg move ...like saying hi...it was unreal..."
"Thank god! what state she in?" Armaan looked at her she was a mess and looked as if she been living on the streets and as if she not eaten properly for days..
"She in a bad way dad I cant do this what if!"
"Beta listen to me right now she your patient and responsibility so...."Armaan placed the blanket on her and walked out the bedroom.
"What if dad i.." he closed his eyes.
"You not messing up this is different!. Look I be there in the morning Ok! Make sure she eats and is clean" Armaan nodded his head
"Thanks Dad!"he placed the phone down and opened the bedroom door and she was gone confused he checked the bathroom seeing the balcony door open he ran out side to see her walking on the beach as his barefeet hit the sand he looked over at her walking into the sea as the strong currents..."Riddhima"he shouted as he saw her completely in the water..."RIDDHIMA!" running into the cold salty water he took hold of me.
"LET ME GO I WANT TO DIE!" he took hold of her and dragged her as the strong current hit them both...he looked over at her sobbing...as he held her feeling themselves getting pulled into the current.
"I cant bring another child into this world .let me go!" *SLAP* he looked at her now unconscious 'Feeling the water around his neck he struggled as he looked over at the shore and held her under her arms swimming back to the shore.
Picking her up in his arms exhausted he placed her on the bed and looked over at her .taking his wet t-shirt he looked at her.
"Shes a mess Armaan!" he mumbled grabbing a t-shirt and looking at her'as he removed her clothes
Joined: 11 October 2005
He looked at her slightly cleaned up as he got her out of the wet clothes and into something warm.Pulling up the bed covers..as he pulled down his jeans and stepped into the shower...he closed his eyes. Why would she want to die? What happen? She was going away how did she?...as the questions ran through his head he felt the sensual water running in his hair and landing on his body.
He stepped out of the bathroom and sighed in relief she was still in the bed he bad sure everything was locked this time round? and he looked over at the clock as it struck 8pm...he saw a frown on her face and walked over towards her and looked at her ?."leave me!" she whispered as she turned over ...Armaan sighed placing his hand through his wet hair....turning he picked up his sleeping bottoms and walked to the other side of the bed and went in? It felt good sleeping next to someone in bed..Since Muskhan had left he missed that side of the bed where it was warm and just comfortable ?now he slept alone and it was the same at all as he just wanted someone to hold?feeling lonely himself he moved closer to her and craved his own body into hers to feel the warmth and security..placing his hand gentle on her stomach ..he felt it again and he smiled gentle rubbing the area with his thumb.
"nothing is goin to happen I promise!" he thought closing his eyes.
He looked over at her as she sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen and washed and freshened up..as she wore his t-shirt and Nike bottom?as she was beginning to showin she asked for some elastic bottoms. He got up really early while she slept for his run on the beech..
"I should go!" she whispered avoiding his eyes as he placed the breakfast on the table.
Smelling the pancakes she looked at him pouring the maple syrup on the pancakes?seeing her eat he was taken back as she attacked the plate not even looking at him ...she looked like she not eaten for days and he turned to cook another batch as she ate.
"Where you're wife? ....You're married now?" she mumbled looking at him as she ate. Looking at his back against her while he poured the batter into the frying pan.
"No Muskhan left me when she found out everything" hearing the fork drop he turned around and looked over at her staring at him as the tears ran down her face.
"Why? This was not you fault?I will talk to her explain!" she said looking at him as he just looked at her shaking his head.
"I broke her trust! She not forgiven me!" he sighed and flipped over the pancake.
"I ruined your life and dreams !" he turned the stove off and looked over at her sobbing as he moved forward and hugged her...feeling her sobbing in his arms
"ARMAAN! Where are you?" he turned to see Muskhan walking in and just looking at her as his eyes widened?
"Muskhan!?" he released Riddhima as he looked over at Muskhan walking back out?as he chased her?
"Muskhan listen? Look she like turned up and ?..."He looked at her as she walked into the drive?pulling out her keys.
"Yeah right! She just turns up Armaan....when I'm not here?....to think I thought we could like talk and....he looked at her placing the key in the car door?.he placed her hand on her shoulder.
"Don't you dare touch me!"
"Didi!" they both froze and looked over at Riddhima looking at Muskhan.
"Please listen to me!" Riddhima stepped forward and looked over at Muskhan as she glared at her.
"Dr Malik is just helping me as a good friend ...last night I was goin to kill myself and he.." Muskhan looked over at her in tears and looked over at Armaan.
"Why do you think she in my clothes! Muskhan at least hear us out!"Armaan said looking at Muskhan folding her arms?
"Can we go inside!" Armaan looked over at both of them and as he saw them walking inside the house.
Muskhan listen to Riddhima and looked over at Armaan just staring at her as she told Muskhan everything how she was after a story and enter the room to the hotel....and if i wanted Dr Malik then i would have as soon as she was pregnant with Esha why would she wait till now to ruin his life, I would have done it then....but I lived for Esha and when she got sick she had no option but to confront Dr Malik?she had no choice but request the father of her child to help...we had no option but to have a second child...if I know my child was goin to die then I would never had done what I had to do!"Mukshan looked at her crying and got up from her sit and hugged her.
"I am sorry you have gone through so much....but If I had know !" Muskhan felt her own tears in her eyes.
"It no one fault but mine I should never had come into both your lives and..."
"Beta let have a look at you!" Armaan sighed looking at his father as he looked over at Riddhima?..Muskhan and Armaan looked over at them both going to the bedroom.
"Muskhan? Listen!" Armaan stepped forward
"She needs you Armaan! I saw something in your eyes as she spoke....you care for her a lot and you need this too!Armaan!"he looked at her getting up, knowing what she had to do.....that baby and Riddhima needed him more then she did thou she wanted to salvage her relationship unable to think of nothing but him. She need to make the decision....she could not bear the thought of him always wondering about them even if she did marry him....and she would never have what they had 3 years ago as it would be different now....
"Kiss me Armaan ....this one last time..!" he looked at he in tears shaking his head at her refusing.
"Muskhan dont!.... I need you and...." she came forward and looked at him taking his face in her hands?
"They need you Armaan....you need them too...if we where to get married then your heart would be torn between us both....you understand right baby!" she whispered feeling a lone tear running down her face....leaning forward she kissed him..
Ashok looked over at Armaan as he stood on the wooden deck looking at the midday sun trying to understand what was happening to him.
?Beta!? Armaan wiped his tears and turned to his father.
?She in a bad way son?the baby has been deprived of food as she not the normal size for someone who is coming up to 4 months in her pregnancy?I have left some tables to as she got a slight infection too?.Beta?? Ashok looked over at him as he nodded his head silently.
?Muskhan?? Ashok asked placing his hand on his shoulders
?She gone for good know?.told me they need me more and ??
?She was always a smart girl!? Armaan looked over at his father surprised
?Dad what you saying?? Ashok looked at him and sighed
?You find out soon?Armaan do you want to have Riddhima here with you as I could take them in?.It be good to have my grandchild bloom in the house?? Armaan looked at him taken back.
?Dad?? he looked over at him leading inside the house.
?Look she carrying my grandchild so I can keep them both if you want son?till you figure things out ?that?s all!? Ashok looked at him
?No I think I can manage?.you?re stay right! I get lunch sorted and the guest room sorted?? Ashok looked at him and smiled.
?Riddhima loves you son and you her but I guess you find that out soon?Muskhan was just something you wanted badly ?.hmmm son there is a lot more to come?Maria honey I guess your going to have to work some magic here darling?? he said looking up.
?Pitaji?please take this!? Riddhima walked into the kitchen holding the envelope, as he looked stunned at her.
?Pitaji? Why did you call me that?? Ashok asked looking at her.
?You remind me of my Nana?he would like care for me like you have?we called him Pitaji!? Riddhima said looking at him as he got up and hugged her. Armaan looked over at him as he saw his dad beam in delight he was never this affectionate with Muskhan and placed his arm around her asking all fatherly on her.
?What is this?? Ashok opened the envelope and looked at her stunned?.Armaan was shocked seeing the paper notes in his hand.
?Beta why did you not?? Ashok looked at her confused.
?You don?t own me anything so?I could not take it! I mean?humare Rista!? Armaan looked at the sadness on her face and then looked at her face grab her ear as she looked at him surprised.
?Right I?m not you Pitaji?never speak to me again?? Armaan looked totally shocked as his father acted like a child turning his back on her and folding his arms?Riddhima looked over at Armaan as she walked and faced Ashok and he turned around the stool?
?Armaan let her she not my ??
?Sorry Pitaji?just all my life ?no one wanted me and?? Ashok turned around looking at her as the tears filled her eyes and he took hold of her.
?Right Armaan she coming home with me as my daughter?.? Ashok annoneced wipping her tears?
?Any you say no one wanted you?paaglee main hoon na!? he patted her head as she sat down nodding her head looking at him as she wiped her tears? Armaan looked over at them and smiled.
?So Son what for lunch?? Riddhima looked over at Armaan and got up and walked to the stove?
?Dad you know I cant cook Indian?so??
?Hmm Italian nice?I guess you mother taught you her recipes? Riddhima looked over at them confused.
?Maria my wife was Italian ??
?Oh that explained the Risotto carving when I was pregnant with Esha?I wonder why I ?? She stopped and looked over at them and blushed ?
Ashok chuckled and looked at her shaking his head?
?Maria would crave for Indian food with Armaan?I was cooking and getting take out at all hours of the day?hope I miss her..? Ashok looked over at Armaan and sighed?
?Well it ready?Dad you want me too set up the table?? Armaan looked at him as he got up
?You?re dad is wonderful??
?Yeah he is ?I never knew until now?? Armaan looked over at her and smiled.
?I guess we both miss mom, I was attached to mum more ?.a mummy?s boy. I guess but Dad was always there for me as well?silently and ??
?You have so much I him inside you too?You mom was lucky?my father so wanted a son and rejected me and my mother when I was born?? he looked at her leaving the kitchen taken back and totally surprised by her outburst?
?Esha?s death as opened something that been hurting her for years Armaan, we going to have to be patient and just show her love! Beta?? Armaan looked over at his father and nodded?
Armaan looked at her sitting outside watching the sun going down …as he held a shawl as it was getting slightly cold and approached her… he placed it around her as she looked up at him with those big green questioning eyes.
"Thank you!" she whispered seeing him sit down next to her as she looked over at the parents playing with there children along the beech…. She envied everyone now the couple walking hand in hand…the children playing with there loved ones …everywhere she looked she saw love… How she craved it whenever she lay or sat alone… When she had Esha it was not so bad…feeling her small arms embracing her and hearing the words mummy…not could replace that and now she was carrying another child but she felt so disconnected with it…Unsure why? Maybe she was bring the child into a world full of disappointment and misery because that was all she had to offer… It was as if her mothering instant had died with Esha buried may be in the soil which engulfed her little body….feeling alone tear running down her cheek she looked over at the sky how the sun was setting as the darkness was now slowly engulfing the sky as her own misery engulfed her…..
"Shaw we go inside?" she turned to look at him wiping her cheek.
"I want to sit here for a while…if you don't mind" she whispered looking back to see the sun melting into the sea…
"You can talk to me Riddhima…I am here for you!" she looked over at him.
"I think I have taken enough of your time …you should hate me…as I have ruined your life…" he looked at her and shook his head.
"No! I don't think I was not ready for commitment….. Muskhan was right about a lot of things…I guess I …I cant explain it …I have thought about it and part of me still wants her but then part say it was not meant to be …." She looked over at him staring at the sea.
"I will leave when Pitaji tells me as he says I'm not strong enough…don't want to be a burden to you anymore…" he looked at her getting up and watch her walking back into the house…
"I don't know what I want?" he looked up shaking his head.
"Hmmmm Beta this is nice!" Ashok looked at her as she asked him to test the chicken as she looked for his approval.
"Not to hot? I think I need more spice ….a little bland?" Riddhima looked over at him shaking his head at her…
"Hmm I think it Ok! But Armaan will not eat it….he hates spices…" he looked over at her looked at Armaan closing the door behind him.
"Ok should I make him something else…I mean!? " Ashok looked over at her fretting and chuckled to himself.
"He like jeera rice and dhal…the yellow one….Moong beta!" he looked at her eyes widen…
"Ok now my mouths water…..i make that not had that since mum passed away…she always made me that and this chicken….it take me like 40 mins…I start that…" he looked at her turning and opening the cupboard to get the stuff out…It was like she knew where everything was ….he was a little taken as he now had someone he could share he love of Indian food with…Armaan could not handle to much hot spices and Muskhan was the same…
"Dad what happening?" Armaan looked over at his father grinning.
"Riddhima's into Indian food!" Armaan looked at him as he smiled broadly…Leading him away from the kitchen.
"So beta what have you decided?….I can take her back with me ….and look after her and my grandson…"
"Grandson?" Armaan looked at him slightly shocked
"I can tell you the sex beta! Been delivering babies all my life…" he looked over at him father chuckling.
"I don't know Dad…I mean I want her? ….I mean them here and then I want to go back to my life…its like I am confused… what do I do?" Ashok looked at him…last 5 months must have been hard on the boy…find out you have a child and then the sudden death of the child and then…Muskhan leaving ….Poor guy needed some normality…having a hormonal pregnant lady in the house might not be the best thing… and Askoh need to think about them both… Riddhima need him too…
"Why don't you sleep on it….i leave tomorrow evening you can tell me then…" Armaan nodded his head at him.
"Ok Dad! I should make dinner….it getting late.." he added feeling a hand on his shoulder.
"Riddhima will do that….she need to keep busy! Let her…" he said seeing Armaan nod….
"Do we have more rice?" Armaan asked tipping the whole bowl with what was left and placed it on the table looking at her.
"Yeah I get some.." she added getting up.
Armaan looked over at her leave and looked at his dad smiling…picking up the dhal and emptying that too
"Man Muskhan cant cook this good…and the rice are like separate and not stuck together …Check it Dad!" Ashok smiled..
"Now the Chicken Armaan….it just like how my grandmother would make it…"
"Really!" he grabbed the bowl and poured it onto his place.
"Armaan…its ho…." Ashok looked at him turning red as he was about to warning him…
"WHAT HAPPEN?" Ashok looked over at Riddhima grabbing a glass of water and placing on his lips ….
"H…O…HOT!" he looked at Riddhima pushing his hair back and looking at him gulping the water down…Ashok looked at her looking so worried and he looked at her in tears…as she grabbed the jug as he grasped it and placed it to his lips..
"Are you ok?" she asked looked nodding.
"Man that chicken like…"
"Sorry …I did not mean….i am so sorry…" Armaan looked at her crying now and looked over at her and placed the jug down…
"Riddhima…" he looked at her leaving the dinning room and looked over at his father as he stood up too…
"Dad?" Armaan looked over at his father…as he went after her…
"Beta… come on! You never leave your food uneaten you know this!" Riddhima looked over at Ashok taking her hand…and leading her back inside…as she wiped her tears.
Armaan looked at her as she sat down next to him and looked over at his father …
"Riddhima I love chicken but ….that is like spice and…"
"I made it for Pitaji and me…Armaan…the dhal was for you…I should have told you it was hot and…I am so sorry you mouth is burning and…" she looked at him placing his hand on her on the table ….She gave him that questioning look again.
"My fault dad was warning me but I was like some crazy mad man who never eaten anything like this…even dad never makes food this good…and hes like the best …"
"Eat the roti I made it help with the burning.." he looked over at her placing the roti on his plate…
She looked at him nodding his head and picked up the roti looking over at his father who was picking up the rice bowl and pouring it on Riddhima plate as she looked at him….
"You eating for two…and I know Armaan will simply finish of the rice.." Ashok looked at her and at Armaan nodding his head.
"I never tasted rice like this unless at a restaurant …" Riddhima looked at him placing the folk into his mouth….as Riddhima giggled at the look on his face taking hold of the rice bowl… Ashok looked over at them smiling….
Unable to sleep he got up and looked over at the clock it was 1am in the morning and it was a restless night…getting up he opened the door and enter the dark lounge and put of the light…he gasped…to see her asleep on the hard cold wooden floor crawled up in a ball…Stepping forward he kneeled on the floor and placed the back of her hand on her neck gentle…pulse was fine… Why she sleepin on the floor and not in the bedroom… unsure he pushed back her hair and looked at her.
"Riddhima?" he whispered leaning forward.
"Riddhima …." He whispered again and looked at her as the moon light hit her face…she was stunning not just in her looks but her spirit as well…. She suffered so much never really complained but took everything god threw at her and just carried on but know she was broken and she need love….but he was not seeing her in that light at all….Gentle place his hands under her he lifted her up …he placed her on the bed and looked at her unknown to him it was his bed and got into the covers…as he snuggled up next to her …gentle placed his hand on her stomach there it was again…that gentle poke…he sighed smiling…. Why are we drawn to each other? He thought placing his head gentle on her neck…as his lips slightly touched her neck feeling the softness …
Was it because the first time he made love to her in the hotel room he never got over it?…Or was it because he could not stop thinking about her since he walked out the hotel room… never demanding and just blessing herself with what she had…what was it about her he was drawn to? The questions kept swimming in his head and then holding her body as it carving into him and he pulled her back… The feeling that stirred him where nothing like when he was with Muskhan… Was his love for Muskhan fake? What was his love for Muskhan? Was it the mere fact since mother died he need a woman in his life? When Muskhan left he felt bad and relived but why? And when Riddhima left he felt like something inside had just been made dormant…. Feeling her body move around and hold him he looked at her …feeling her stomach touching his …as his skin felt the maternal of the t-shirt…gentle placing his hand on her waist him gentle moved it up…feeling her skin now touching his…as he felt something touch him…as the movement gentle subsided he closed his eyes feeling her head rested on the pillow…
He opened his eyes as she shifted and looked over at her frowning and mumbling…
"Esha…" he saw her jerk and gentle pulled her close to him
"It's ok….Shhh" he whispered as her frown disappeared.
Feeling a hand on his bare chest he opened his eyes and looked over at her still asleep as he moved slightly he saw her eyes open…
"How did I?" their was that questioned look in her eyes again and she removed herself of him so quickly and lowered her eyes.
"You where a sleep on the floor outside and…"
"I cant sleep on the bed…used to the floor!" he looked at her mumbling.
"Riddhima …it not good for you or the baby on the floor…" he said looking at her getting up from the bed.
"Come here!" she looked over at him as he stood up…Feeling his hand lift up her t-shirt as he placed his hand on her stomach he looked at her gasp….
"I never felt him before?" she said looking at him smiling.
"We bonded last few hours….he was telling me off …that I should take care of mum…Daddy you're naughty!" he smiled to see her stern look.
"Armaan …please don't!" he looked at her stepping back.
"You don't owe us anything…and I remember what I signed…" he looked at her walk past her and leave the room…
"Are you sure beta?" Ashok looked over at her and placed his hand around her shoulder and looked at her.
"Ji I think adoption is best!" Riddhima looked over at him in tears
"I mean I have nothing to give and then….I cant face anything happen to my child I don't think I would cope with it again…I can barely look after myself…." Ashok looked at her as she hugged him and sobbed…
"I will do what ever you ask….and I will talk to Armaan too!" he looked at her looking at him.
"But he signed papers no legal right over the child in anyway…and he will not object …Poor man wants his life back and I am like holding thing up for him…he's worried about me…I have the baby and leave completely…." He looked at her….she was so confused and did not know this child was her salvation to the pain and suffering… Children are a gods gift…how so many couple saw him in his fertility clinic craving for such a gift and here she was giving away this precious gift of life..and that to strangers. I keep my grandson myself if I have too…Maria would kill me…I need to seriously think about this ….
"Ok Beta I still need to speak to him as a father he is entitled to this decision….thou he may not be giving any financial support but he to needs to agree to this…" Riddhima looked at him and nodded… He was a decent man like his father he would not object to this…
Armaan looked at his father in horror as he stood on the beech as he came back from his morning jog needing to clear his mind…as he stood on the beech and watched the sun rising….
"But Dad?" Armaan looked at him as the colour just disappeared from his face…Ashok was hoping for this reaction and looked at him.
"Look at her Armaan…would anyone marry her?…she a complete wreak. Does not know where the next meals coming from and then….raising a child single handed. What if like Krish like sick and …."
"Krish?" Armaan looked over at his father.
"Yeah my grandson ….It is traditional I name him!" Ashok place his arm around him and lead him to the house…
"Think about it son?….what would she do?" Armaan looked over at him
"Krish?" his eyes gentle filled up and he looked at his father.
"I never got to see Esha until it was to late so she not giving up my baby to complete stranger…I'll have him! Take care of him and…" Ashok smiled inwards.
"Well it up to you as I am happy to have Krish with me and all…Even Riddhima…never had a daughter like and she need a pitaji I need her and…"
"Hey what about me?…Dad you go this all planned?" Armaan looked over at his father as he looked at him seriously.
"I know what it like to lose family Armaan…there no way I am losing Krish and Riddhima now…. if you want them or not they will find me forever with them now….i have fallen in love with her…beta she reminds me of Shanti and Amma is some way her gentleness and how she says the little off the wall things and it reminds me of home ….she speaks in hindi and the way she like looking for that fatherly love…I guess I am loving for a Sonu in her in some ways…." Armaan looked at him totally surprised and the way he looked at the house.
"If your mother was here she too would have fallen in love with her and just forever hugged her …cried when she cried and…you know what your mother would have done…" Armaan looked over at him and nodded.
"Why did you think I buried Esha next to her….so she could look after her dad!" Ashok looked at him in tears as he looked away…hearing his voice quivered.
Riddhima looked at him totally surprised and at his father.
"I take Krish as my son and you are to stay with me for as long as you want!" he said firmly.
"But the…" She looked at him holding the papers and ripped them
"I'll draw up the adoption papers I get full custody of Krish…I mean the baby…" Ashok smiled inwards as he plan was working now he just need to get Riddhima and Armaan together…and he had 5 months to do it….
"Bye beta!" Ashok looked over at Riddhima in tears as he hugged her…
"Ok now you coming to see me Tuesday at 10am to my clinic….I am going to see to this whole case personally…we get you scanned and check everything…" he said patting her head….he turned and looked over at Armaan…
Armaan lead him to the car in the drive… "Ok remember her bp is high…no stress she takes the tablets and make sure she eats …and get what ever she craves…I want Krish like chubby like you and all…" Armaan chuckled looking at him
"Armaan another thing her depression….be gentle with her and just hug her and be supportive…" Armaan looked at him complete shocked..
"Dad?" Ashok looked at him sternly
"If she happy so is the baby…her emotional dependence was Esha remember that this child she does not value or feel connected to it so…" Armaan looked at his father and nodded. Dad was right! She been neglecting everything as her grief for Esha was not over and all…
"Take her out shopping …oh Gina called as well….your uncle Joey is having your grandfathers birthday celebration there at the restaurant ….so bring her along…it be fun for her to see the family…" Armaan looked at him
"Dad you goin to be there?" Ashok shook his head…
"It's not the same without Maria…and…"
"If you there then Riddhima will not feel alone…You now Uncle Joey will have me doing all sorts right…and Gina momma have me giving treatment to her friends say my grandson is a doctor…" Ashok smiled and looked at him
"It will do you both some good…bye Beta!" Ashok opened the door and waved at Riddhima as she waved back smiling.
"Come on Riddhima!" she looked at him opening his car door.
"We going shopping …Since I am home for the next week…I need to get loads done like a nursery and.." She looked at him looking happy talking about what he needed as she stood there.
"Why? Are you doing this?" he looked at her as she stood on the step outside the house.
"Because I missed out on Esha and I don't want to miss this ….as it's a second chance" she felt the tears running down her face as she looked at him approach her…Feeling his arms around her he looked at her.
"Come on Esha was a good child like her mother …and she would like you to now move on you have cried enough and need to think about the baby….our baby!" he whispered see her eyes still lowered as he released him….She would not hug him back he noticed she was the same with dad too….as if she had this wall around her…May be she will in time…
"Now come on this will be fun and…"
"Plus I need to get some groceries since you like Indian so much so I need to do some shopping…it like a 20 min drive…we make a long afternoon of it…since dad left early then I thought…" he lead her to the car and sat her down..
He took hold if her hand and smiled as she gave him a quizative look but she did not let go…Feeling movement in her womb surprised her…as when every he touched her she get a slight movement, since this morning…..Fine I have something to remember them by when I leave…she thought looking at him just smiling sheepishly as he lead her to the clothes department in the store.
"Armaan please.." he looked at her shaking her head as he frowned.
"Look I am not walking around with you dressed in my t-shirts and jogger bottoms.."
"But they comfortable and…practical!" she whispered looking at him.
"hmmm…they say when I woman is pregnant she glows and looks very attractive …plus I be out of clothes at this rate.." he chuckled pushing her into the changing rooms…
"Armaan?" he turned and smiled seeing Atul as his eyes widened
"mwah…my darling!" Atul looked at him taking hold of her in his arms.
"Wow Nisha really growing.." Armaan say looking at her grabbing her hand into a ball and placing it into her mouth..
"She teething…just little madam now…not letting anyone sleep…" Atul chuckled seeing her opening her arms at Atul for him to hold her.. Armaan looked at how she leaped out of his arms and into Atuls arms ….as she placed her head on his neck…
"Where is …."
"Hi Armaan!" Armaan smiled looking at her as she pushed the empty pushchair..
"DI!" they all looked over at Riddhima staring at them and turning to run back into the changing rooms in tears… Armaan looked over at Atul and Anjali as …Nisha started crying and Anjali looked like she was really scared and looked over at Atul nudging her to go after Riddhima..
"I am scared .." she whispered as Nisha tried to take hold of Anjali as Atul juggled Nisha to his other arm away from Anjali…as Nisha cried loudly…
"Go baby! You need to sort this out once and for all…" Atul said looking at her eyes watering as she nodded her head…
"Come on Armaan …Nisha need her bottle…" Armaan grabbed the pushchair and they both left…
"Atul?" Armaan looked at him…
Joined: 11 October 2005
Armaan looked over at Atul horrified and stood up….
"You're joking me?" Atul could see the hurt and disappointment on his face
"Armaan?" Atul stood up with Nisha in his arms and looked over at Armaan just totally dumbstruck…
"Anjali matched Esha?" Armaan whispered as his eyes filled up and he looked over at Atul.
"Armaan I?" Atul looked at the hurt on his face and looked down at Nisha drinking the milk from the bottle from Atul.
"How could you not have…"
"We where goin to tell you and Anjali agreed but Esha got critical on the day we discovered Anjali matched and…"
"You have no idea how much I have lost Atul!…Muskhan and then Esha …that all could have been avoided and then…what about Riddhima?" Armaan looked over at the heads turning around from the tables looking at them and looked at Atul just not moving with his head down.
"I guess you have to live with that Atul…" he turned and looked over at Anjali in tears and looked over her shoulder
"Where is she?" Armaan looked at her as she looked up at him
"She didn't listen to me and …..told I must be happy now ….that my dua for her child came true….." Anjali looked over at him run…
Armaan looked everywhere for the past hour and then he received Atuls call….'shes sitting outside the kids play crche …me and Nisha are with her…' Atul sounded so off ….Armaan knew he was upset about everything but he need to see Riddhima her state of mind was just so stretched if she found out Anjali was a match then she would totally break he needed to get to her as quickly as possible.
He looked at her watching the children playing and looked over at Anjali standing a little away from them as he approached he saw Nisha asleep in her arms and look at her just seeing the kids playing…. As Atul stood up he and looked at him he nodded as Atul approached him.
"Atul…she in a bad way any more stress and my baby will not make it…" Atul heard the stress in his voice and nodded ….Armaan looked at him and approached Anjali as he placed his arm around her and pulled her sobbing towards him. Armaan heard her humming as she used to with Esha with Nisha in her arms…
"Riddhima!" she looked at him and nodded getting up and looked over at Anjali and Atul…
"She so beautiful….you don't know how lucky you are…Di!" Anjali stepped forwards and took hold of Nisha as she looked over at Riddhima and hugged her too…Armaan looked over at Riddhima sobbing loudly as Atul stepped forward and took hold of Nisha as….Anjali just held Riddhima in her arms sobbing… Maybe she needs this some one who is her own to help her grief over Esha….
He sat in the car and looked over at her….It had been a tuff day and he felt totally drained and could not even image what Riddhima had been through how could he…she was like a strong individual with Esha around and now she looked so venerable and delicate…as everything effected her …
"Riddhima if you want to talk…"
"Di was dads favourite I used to be so jealous…he would buy her whatever she wanted and then look at me not pleased and hand me the gift grunt and walk into the study…he never cuddled me not once…Mum and Di made up for it thought… Di would give me her toys and everything ….." Armaan looked at her staring out of the car.
"Only time Dad hugged me was when he announce my engagement to the Sumit!…Dad looked at him as a Son he never had…Di had already meet her bow in University and I came back home and he announced my engagement first….i never met Atul when ever di asked I avoided as Dad would be there and we would fight!…. Sumit was not a bad person and deep down think about it now I guess he would have made a great husband as he was caring and stuff …..but I never felt it you know? That spark? And I guess I was scared more then anything since I was such a disappointment to the man who's blood runs through my veins…. I was scared of that more then anything the disappointment …what if I was not a good wife or…" he placed his hand on her and as he stopped the car at the lights.
"You are a fantastic mother and person Riddhima don't think …" he looked at her as he lifted his hand and placed the car into drive…as he looked at her.
"I think I was never really accepted by anyone really….Esha was like a new beginning for me like a new birth….she gave me strength to be a better person I guess…I feel so lost now and…" he looked at her as the tears ran down her face.
He parked the car in the car park and turned to look at her..
"Riddhima I cant tell you to forget you're past and Esha but all I can say is that…we cant stop living no matter how hard it gets and we got to think of the baby now and I need to care for you both…so.."
"For how long Armaan?" her simple question hit him and he placed his hand on top of hers and looked at her.
"I am here for how every long you want me!" he looked at her green questioning eyes and just gentle placed his hand on her face…
"Come on me and Krish are starving…and I think you like this Mexican restaurant…" she looked at him getting out of the car feeling the baby move again.
He looked at her as she was asleep in the car …she looked so wore out and his heart went for her completely… to have gone through so much rejection…and he though about his happy childhood and how his parent loved each other those mum would have her days of depression but he remembered how his father silently looked after her nurture her needs and bad things better… Looking back now he saw nothing but his father love for his mother…. He walked round to the passenger seat and opened the door… picking her up…he saw her snuggle up against him and he smiled.
"It ok Riddhima I am here now nothing will ever …." He stopped as he looked at himself kiss her forehead and jerk back… What am I doing?
He placed her in the bed and looked at her as he sat down and placed his hand gentle through his head? I don't love her? And what I feel is like? I don't know I mean she carrying my child because it was vital…but this could have all been avoided if Atul had done his job properly….If he was not a match he should have suggested another family member and… But many be he had and Riddhima told him she alone? What if? So many scenarios where running through his head… Like Esha is this child a mistake too…he got up and took of his top and grabbed is cotton black bottom…pulling up the covers he got into bed… moving closed to her he placed his hand on her stomach…lifting up her t-shirt slightly and feeling her soft skin as there it was again…he was unsure how this totally fascinated him complete.. How she had this power to create life from the seed he planted as it now blossomed inside her and how it was recognising him but how? As it was sitting inside her feeding from her and then when he placed his hand on her stomach …there it was gain thing time a little harder…his eyes widen…getting up he moved the bed sheets and got up walking around to her side of the bed….gentle lifting up the sheets he gasped seeing the blood…
"Dad?" Ashok looked at him as he stepped out of the ward.
"She ok! And so the baby…this happens because of the stress and her bp is high…. Was not alot of blood and she on a dip…" Ashok placed his hand on his shoulder
"What happen Armaan?" Armaan looked at him in a daze and looked over at his father.
"You think I mad? Dad!" Ashok looked at him and he looked at him
"It was like I knew …like me and the baby are connected! When I felt the second movement I just…I cant explain it Dad!" Ashok looked at him and nodded.
"Hmmm I think as Riddhima is ignoring the warning signs and the baby as her grief for Esha is manifesting inside her in so many way that…the baby or someone is guiding you…don't forget its your child and you are connected with it in so many ways…"
"Dad how do I help Riddhima …I don't know what to do? Its so confusing and…" Armaan sighed looking at his father leading him into his office …to the leather sofa
"Support her and…" Ashok looked at him
"Love her Armaan….she's dieing for it!" Armaan looked up surprised
"But I don't love her and…"
"You don't have to love her Armaan…." Armaan looked up slight confused what was he saying?
"Look Armaan the poor child has been through so much only we can imagine …but her mental state of mind is off balance and I am scared she might kill the baby…"
"But you said it ok now and…??"
"Beta!" he dreaded that tone of voice
"She craving for love ….you don't have to be in love with her just shower her with love and hold her and kiss her…make her understand the meaning of love and…" Ashok looked over at him getting up..
"Dad I treated her badly and …I don't know if she..?"
"Well make her fall in love with you…If you want to see Krish survive and be healthy you have to do this Armaan…make her fall in love with you…start new…Take her far away from everything and ….shower her with love and nothing else…" Armaan looked at his father getting up.
"Remember that place in Edmonton….Canada take her there you both go and love her make her feel like a woman should when she pregnant and …" Armaan looked at him and nodded…
Riddhima opened her eyes and saw the ballons and flowers in the room and closed her eyes again this is just…
"Hey you're awake!" she looked over at him in his black cotton bottoms and coat sitting in the armchair beside her…
"Nothing to worry about baby is fine and ….so are you!" she looked at him tucking her behind her ears.
"I feel so…"
"I know you on a dip and need to rest…"
"What time is it?" she asked seeing the sun seeping through the blinds
"4pm…Dad say once your up and he happy we can go home!" he looked at her nodding as her eyes fell on the daisies…
"Flowers and balloon?" she looked at him shifting in the chair slightly..
"I did not know what you like so I got everything and then I had to get Krish something and then the balloons and look …that teddy bear …" she looked at the blue bear on the table….and nodded with her eyes swelling up…
"Dad got that …." He placed his hand on hers and looked at her shifting her weight on the bed.
"Krish is ok ? I mean?" he nodded and looked at her
"He fine asleep now …drowsy a little like you and all…" he whispered getting up a little.
"I get Dad and tell him your up!" he said standing up.
Riddhima looked over at him as she smiled as he disappeared….Why are you doing this wasting money on me! Krish I understand he is your child! So why? Why are you pretending you are something when you are not?
"Armaan?" he turned and looked at her as she handed him something…
"Esha's picture…" Armaan nodded and stared at the picture of Esha as a baby and smiled…she looked at him leaving the room and sighed. As she turned to the large French doors and looked at the ocean she saw heard a knocking sound and turned to see Esha picture next to Krish's and looked at him fondly placing a hand on Esha as a smile formed on his lips…as he stepped back he looked at her approaching him and placed his hand on her shoulder pulling her close.
"Our children!" she turned and looked at him nodding as he looked at the pictures he hung in the lounge.
"Ok I am hunger!" he announced looking at her with a smile..
"I'll cook?" she said moving forward to feel his arms pulling her back and she closed her eyes feeling his breath on her neck as he held her.
"No I'll cook…you are to rest Doctors orders!" feeling his lips on her cheek she looked at him humming and walking to the kitchen as she looked at the pictures on the wall….and followed him to the Kitchen…
"I cant just sit here and not earn my keep i…."
"What?" he looked at her placing the small pot on the stove.
"Earn your keep?…. Look Riddhima you are carry our child and need to rest no more worry over the housework and chores …man your so backward sometimes….Muskhan let me do …" he looked at her lowering her eyes and closed his eyes….. Moving towards her he hugged her from behind on the stool
"I did mean that what I meant was normal I do chores I don't get any complaints ….it nice you want to take care of me but ….your not well so…" he felt her wriggling to get out of his hold and looked at her.
"Armaan you love her then why are you hurting her by being with me?" he looked at her as he stepped back she was not stupid
"Muskhan left me Riddhima and it was because of me ….not anything you done!" he said placing his hand on her…
"ugh….you sure?? I walked into you life and this dream house we are living in is was created by you both to share your life with and I ruined that …." He looked at her sobbing.
"Why don't you shout at me like normal man will do and why don't you throw me out the house and why do I love you…" she sobbed as he looked at her stunned and pulled her close him in his arms…
"I am draw to you as well…Ok now I get it this all a conspiracy to get me in trouble…Dad finds out your crying and he take you away from me!" he smiled placing a kiss on her forehead and wiped her tears.
"Man you so moody!" he said shaking his head and chuckled.
"Hmm you love me hey!" he looked at her blush and lowering her head
"I ugh…" he looked at her and chuckled as he pulled her in his hold this time feeling her arms around him for the first time as she was now responding back…
"Ok now I better make something to eat or Krish will not forgive his dad…" she looked at him as he fondly said Krish's name and looked at him opening the cupboards.
He looked at her eating her food and smiled man she loves me…I mean! He smiled placing the paste in his mouth… hmm could I be the reason why she never moved on and? He looked at her green questioning eyes looking at him and smiled.
"Riddhima it my grandpa birthday tomorrow…..so we going to stop by and see the family…I hope you don't mind…Momma been asking to see you and…."
"I don't feel like …." She looked at him as he smiled.
"Come on it be fun! Dad will be there so you will not be bored not at uncle Joeys party…" she looked at him chuckling and nodded.
He stared at her as she closed the bedroom door behind her as she wore a black knee length dress and her whole figure was on display she was so curve and as just glowed but he saw her looking nervous and him as she patted down her dress unsure.
"You look amazing…" he stepped forward as she saw him dressed in a grey pinstriped dressed and smiled….he looked so handsome and she just blushed as he took hold of her hand and lead her to the door..
"Armenio!" Armaan smiled feeling Gina Momma's big hug and smiled as she looked at him… Riddhima looked at the very small woman with the dark brown hair and she peared through her wireless frame to look at her as she stood seeing the room go silent as she saw the woman come forward and look at her…
"Momma?" Armaan looked over at her stepping towards Riddhima and noticed everyone was silent and gulped….seeing Ceila and Uncle Joey whispering and then Dad was no where in sight…
"Come closer dear!" Riddhima looked over at Armaan unsure as she looked at him and stepped closer… to feel her arms around her and pulled her towards the family members.
"Meet my Riddhima girls…Now Child sit next to me…Armerino you help the men figure out where there brains are… they need all the help they can get…" Armaan looked over at the ladies all giggling… as Momma took Riddhima away…
"Hi Armerino!" Armaan sighed….why at the age of 26 they could not say Armaan and he was stuck with this pronouncement of his name..he sighed chuckling inwards and looked over that the men…know they just discuss sports and his love life…man he was dreading this slightly but if he never attended that Momma would kill him..
"Chip of the old block…." Uncle Joey with his gold plated tooth smiled at him as he patted him on the back hard in a manly way…
"I never liked that other bird…this one is prettier…" Armaan smiled through his teeth as everyone agreed with head shakes as he looked over at them hating talking to them as he turned to see Riddhima talking to Momma..
"She's knocked up to hey bro!" Armaan turned to see Tony Aunt Cella's son wink at him as he handed him a bottle of bud…seeing the chuckles around the groups…
"Man I thought Doctor carried rubbers …" Tony commented as they all chuckled loudly.
"Long story…" Armaan said feeling uncomfortable coming here was a mistake no wonder dad avoided the parties..
"Doctor!" Armaan dreaded the voice and knew it was Stella…his far distant cousin and looked over at Tony winking at him as everyone knew she was after him…
"Wedding called off and single …." He stared at her blue eyes and she looked at him grabbing hold of his waist and he felt her hand go slightly lower to as she pinched him and smiled at him.
"Stella how are you?" he asked moving away from her as she looked over at everyone looking at her low cut top revealing everything…
"Armaan!" he turned see his father as he sighed in relief.. about time!!
"Excuse me…" as he approached his father and hugged him he looked at him sighing.
"Why did I?…Beta use your brains bring a pager along and get Riddhima to text you…me and your mother worked that one out…"
"DOCTOR!" Armaan looked over at Gina marching towards him.
"I thought you where busy son…thank you for coming…" Armaan looked over at his father kissing Gina on the cheeks and looking over at Riddhima as she got up…
"Armenio…you not told me Riddhima speaks Italian…I was like shocked the other one just smiled never spoken much…This one a good catch don't let her go!" Gina smiled looking over at them as Ashok hugged Riddhima and he looked at Gina giving her approval…
"To get a story I learnt Italian and Spanish….i even met Don Galion…he will only speak Italian.." Everyone looked at her as she looked at them all.
"You know the Don?" Gina asked as she nodded.
"Yeah! I interviewed him once and he nice man…loves red lickerish …" Everyone chuckled and raised their glass as Armaan and Ashok never saw then to this before …
"To the Don and …Riddhima!" Armaan looked at her blushing as his father stood like a proud father with his arm around her shoulder..
"What did you do?" she looked at him as they sat at the table while everyone ate…
"I mean they pronounced your name right and you know Italian and …."
"Oh the Don is big man to the Italians like the pope…he only see you if you are worthy …I cover his story for the paper…influential man in Italy and America…" Armaan looked at her whispering at him
"And they all love you I heard them….the men are all jealous of you as your Gina favourite and she say that as she loves you a lot you are her first grandson Amerino…" Armaan took hold of her hand and smiled
"Thank you Riddhima…" she nodded as she looked at him
"I am tired!" she announced as she looked at him
"Ok Dad just left and I think we should make a move…"
"la ringrazio tanto!" Riddhima said sounding more prefect then him to Momma
"Arrivederci!" they all shouted as they waved good-bye.
He looked at her in the car she was quiet…
"Big family and they love you loads….thought the Italians never show there colour until they are sure.." she was right and he was that way too.
"Riddhima thank you.." she looked at him and smiled.
"What for? …By the way Gina momma placed a gypsy…..spell on me and the baby!…Did you know your great grandmother was a gypsy and she had the power to heal ….she would cure loads of people in the villages with herbs and…natural remedies…" Armaan looked at her shaking his head.
"I never knew mom would say….helping and saving people is in out blood! I thought she meant dad…" he said looking at her in a couple of hours she knew the ins and out of his family and the history…
"What the story with Stella?" she asked seeing him going pale..
"She was the first girl to kiss me and …" he looked at her giggling as he smiled
"What?…I was in braces and she cut herself and was crying tell mom!….tell this very day I regret it and….she like never let me alone!" Armaan looked at her giggling and smiled never heard her laugh and she looked pretty as he stopped the car in the drive.
"What? So funny?" she looked at him
"Nothing just your face…and you must have liked her to kiss her…" she said looking at him chuckle
"It was Tony 14 birthday party and we played spin the bottle landed on both of us and we had to kiss as that was the dare…" he said shyly…looking at her as they got out the car.
"Poor girl …kissed metal mouth!" he looked at her giggling and pulled her close to him….feeling his lips on hers she found her arms around his neck….as he released her he looked at her ….never ever felt anything like that before and was surprised as he looked at her stepping back…
"Yeah!" she whispered turning to go into the house…smiling he enter the house and sighed…
As he stared at her back to him in bed he turned and looked at the ceiling…what am I doing? I mean I want Krish but Riddhima she so unstable and moody nothing like the woman I meet 3 years ago…she was smart and with it… now she like so lost and unstable …its like I'm stepping on egg shells in the house and the truth is I don't love her …well I don't think I do? ….he turned to look at her and moved closer to her…she felt his arms around her and he did and craved himself into her …feeling his arms pull her close to him…
"Goodnight Musky…." He whispered sleepily as she closed her eyes worried…
Armaan got up and looked over at the bed and yawned …she was up early and he thought getting out the bed.
"Riddhima?" he shouted and looked around the kitchen…….worried and frowning he picked up the phone…..
Joined: 11 October 2005
Joined: 11 October 2005
Armaan held her hand and looked at her as she looked so nervous he was surprised she had dressed in a light blue sari and she had draped her matching shawl around her which looked elegant as she said she wanted to protect Krish from naazar and the shawl will do that perfectly covering Krish in such a away..… Letting go of her hand he felt her hand take hold of his arm as they both stood outside Atul large house outside…
"Come on in!" Atul greeted them as they walked in feeling Rodham's grip tighten …he placed his hand on her hand holding him and looked at her to reassure her.
"We having a small get together …Papa wanted to invite some people.." Atul added as he looked at them… How Anjali and him tired to convince papa to having a family dinner but he would not listen…talked about the property market affected by the global market and he need to invite a few people …Anjali looked at him and said he will just meet her in public period …She not his daughter or any part related to him… and Anjali sobbed…Atul sighed as they stepped onto the lawn …
They saw the group of people exchange drinks and conversation.. Armaan had met Shashank Gupta before at Atul place …and knew Atul was having trouble as ….he wanted Atul to live with him and his daughter …but Atul put his foot down and told Anjali she had to choose ….How Atul would be over at his place just moaning… Armaan knew Anjali loved him as she moved out…but Shashank kind of moved in….spending his time there with them..…
Riddhima spotted her father holding Nisha in his arms as she was asleep …while he talked to the guest… moving forward she looked over at Anjali as she looked over at her coming forward.
"Ridz" Anjali hugged her and kissed her gentle on the cheek.
"How are you? Looking big now" Anajli smiled looking at her.
"I am fine di!" Riddhima whispered looking at her father looking at them.
"Armaan…How are you?" Anajli asked looking at him as he smiled.
"I am great… thank you!" he replied seeing Riddhima looking upset as she observed her father.
"I get you both some drinks…Buffet is out so help yourselves.." Anjali left as he turned to look at her.
"Darling…I am with you why are you…" he looked at her eyes widen
"Hello!" Armaan turned to see Shashank Gupta holding Nisha asleep on his shoulder as he soothed her.. Armaan extended his hand and shook his hand as he held it out. Armaan looked at him not even looking at Riddhima or acknowledging her at all and looked at this man so coldly looking at him.
"Make sure you eat something …Dont want anyone to say we cant host a party? I just put my grandchild to bed…My only child Anjali makes the best Cajun chicken you must try…." he said walking away ….Armaan looked at her in tears as he put his arm around her.
"Lets go….I am so sorry…I should never have…." he hugged her and kissed her forehead.
How could someone be so rude and… he looked at her as Atul came forward.
"He will never change…He's normally used to avoid Nisha…but she was crying one day and he picked her up…and she like cries out for him when he enters the room…They bonded and Anjali was like he was never this affectionate to her and Ridz the way he is with Nisha…"
"She is Di child ….he will naturally love her….if it was Esha …" Armaan pulled her close to him as he saw the tears running down her face.
"Armaan I am not feeling to good..i need the bathroom" Riddhima looked at him as she looked pale.
"Riddhima the bathroom is this way…" Atul pointed inside and waved at Anajli as she came forward..
Armaan looked over at her walking into the house with Anajli… "How can you be so hard on your own child?" Armaan mumbled looking at Atul who sighed heavily..
"Anjali told me everything….I don't know how he can be heartless…and there mother died heart broken and Rid was forever ignored and he was just cold to her ….She was like unwanted…to feel that Armaan I don't know how she did it….I understand why she never asked them for help….cant blame her…she would have to pay them back and with what….she has nothing to give…. Armaan take care of her she like need…
"I know ….i love her…. how ever she is I love her Atul!" Armaan felt his heart break thinking of the way she grew up …neglected and casted out….he walked inside and looked at Anjali…
"Her labour started…" he looked at her as he ran into the room taking out his mobile…
"Dad ….is it time? ….yeah I am ….But dad she's like early?" Armaan looked at her as she panted …..
"Rimmy? Honey…lets just breath them out together ….hold my hand!"
"I'll get the car …" Armaan looked at Atul and nodded….as he looked at Riddhima… Something was terrible wrong he could sense it …unsure what it was he looked at Atul heading towards them..
"Armaan…" he looked at her closing her eyes as the pain became stronger and saw the contraction subsiding and looked at her
"Rimmy?" he took hold of her face and kissed her forehead.
"I love you so much…I am here …we doing this together ok ….baby!" She looked at him as he looked so worried as she nodded to feel his arms around her slowly aiding her to get up …As soon as she was up he lifted her in his arms as he looked over at everyone enter the house to see him holding her in his arms.
"Ridz?…" he looked at Anjali looking at him
"My Wife to be and child …will be fine thank you for…" he cursed himself realizing coming her must have upset her and she gone into labour 2 months early…
"Armaan wait!" he looked at her as she lifted her head from his chest.
"Papa?" she mumbled
"Your father Ashok Malik is waiting at the hospital… we are merely guest here there is no papa here…" he said looked at Shashank as he walked out of the house.. I will give you everything…the love you deserve and my family is now your family…. My father is your father he said to himself putting her into the car.
"Thank you Atul I can…"
"Don't be Silly….I will drive Armaan she needs you…" Atul looked over at Riddhima to see Armaan nodding as he ran to the other side of the car and jumped into the car and closed the door…
He looked at her and she looked so pale and he could sense something was clearly wrong and could not put his finger on what it was… as Atul pulled up to the emergency doors…they notice his father waiting for them…Armaan looked at Riddhima as she closed her eyes and breathed out the contraction… They had been steady thoughout the drive.
"Rimmy…" he said picking her up and gasped seeing the blood on the seat and looked at her….she was seriously looking as thou she was in pain and he placed her on the stretcher and looked at his father…
"Dad?" Ashok looked at him briefly and turned to looked at Riddhima ..
"Rimmy…since when have you had the pain?" Armaan raced with the stretcher as they rushed down the corridor..
"Since this morning….I thought it would pass like last time.."
"Last time?" Armaan looked at her as she looked at him
"Yeah Beta …when was the last time?" Ashok looked at Armaan looking surprised and shock…
"Last night…around 4am I was getting pain…but it went away…." Ashok looked over at Armaan who looked like he had no clue..
"Where you bleeding then?" Riddhima shook her head and closed her eyes as another contraction started…Feeling Armaan holding her hand ….He looked at the tears from her eyes and the sweat on her bow…
"Beta we going straight into OR…" Riddhima nodded at Ashok and knew it was time.
"You have to Save Krish promise me…" Feeling Ashok hand on her forehead she looked at him and closed her eyes…
"Armaan not know …I explain later…she's dieing I have too…" Armaan looked at her not moving …but her grip was tight holding his hand.
"NURSE! Are we ready?" Ashok shouted if he did not get her inside quick they Krish would die….he need to operate and see if he could save her…
"Let me come…" Armaan looked over at him as he shook his head.
"I can only save one…" Armaan looked at him as the wardens took her away…feeling her fingers slipping out of his hand he looked over at his father confused….and turned to see Riddhima enter the OR
"What you mean?" Ashok sighed seeing Armaan looking totally confused. How child birth for many was a joyous occasion assisting there partners to being life into the world…But for many it was heart breaking ….he had seen many women die in childbirth and it was a sacrifice these women made..
"She should have told you….She been dieing for the past 7 months…she been instructed another child will kill her and she…"
"Doctor we're ready!" the nurse shouted looking to see Ashok place his hand on Armaan arm and look at him.
"I will try to save them both…" he whispered gentle to see Armaan in tears just looking at him enter the OR….
"Armaan?" he looked up from his seat to see Chriag sitting next to him.
"Uncle called me…when you told him!.." Armaan looked at him place his suitcase near the seat and patted his back.
"Did you know?" Armaan asked looking at him
"No Uncle told me Armaan needs you…From the sound of his voice I knew something was wrong…"
"How is Ritu and the baby?" Armaan asked looking at him
"Ritu fine …her mother is over from India and Shiv is doing fine…Sara is excited as she got a new toy …they all fine. How you doing?" Chriag looking at him as he sunk into his chair.
"I knew it was not goin to last…nothing with me never does…" He looked at him as he placed his head into his hands.
"Dude don't say that Uncle is …"
"Dad told me he can save only one and…he will try!" Armaan mumbled feeling Chirags hand on his back again
"Look Armaan this is no one fault…"
"Shes been threw so much and I just don't know …how anyone can be so strong? She even gave her life for Esha and even that was taken away from her….I should have know when she blacked out…she was pushing me away ….when I told her I love her. She was like you doing this because it a boy….when she was really telling me something else and I just ….nailed the nail to her coffin…." Armaan looked at the OR door praying they would both be fine.
"Armaan she loves you….Uncle told me how she behaved like a good friend and wife.."
"And mother…the way she sit on the sofa and gentle pat Krish speaking hindi …thou I could understand a little she was telling him …about me and Esha….now it makes sense she was telling him how to be a good son for me…" Armaan closed his eyes as the tears ran down his face…
"Today I wanted to give her everything….as she never got anything and lived life one day at a time…I need her Chriag…I don't think I will be able to do this and…Krish need a mother he deserves someone like her to be there forever… and she need some happiness for once in her life ….cant… god ….give her ….that much…" Chriag looked at him as he sobbed in between breaths….He never seen him like this even when his mother died….he was upset but because of the cancer they knew she would not make it...but this Riddhima just landed in his lap…
"The months she was with you Uncle said she was very happy and…"
"I want that to last ever day….I want to hear her laughing at me….I want to eat her spice cooking ….the way she bites her lips when she scared …the way the pencil sits behind her ear when she finished writing and then ask if I seen her pencil…I want it 24/7 ….and not just a fading memory…." Chriag looked at him and nodded
"Armaan!" he looked up at his father….
He looked at her with her head on the pillow as he saw there son resting next to her …with his eyes filled with tears he approached them.
"Armaan ….i have breast feed him given what I can…" she whispered looking at him
"Armaan…" she looked at him standing still just looking at them.
"Take him and…"
"I do want too…" he said harshly looking at her fight back his pain and looked at her with his chin locked.
"You Don't?" she whispered feeling her tears finally flowing as he stood before them
"I don't want it …without you.." he looked at her closing her eyes sobbing pulling Krish close to her….he moved around to the other side of the bed and got onto the bed and felt her cold body next to him pulling Krish and her close to him on the tiny bed.
"Armaan?" she whispered sinking into his body seeing the tears now flowing down his cheeks.
"You should of told me ….I hate you for not telling me and…" feeling his arms pull her closer to him she closed her eyes sobbing with him.
"Rimmy you cant leave me and I will not let you go…" he sobbed looking at her.
"Its time Armaan…I have to leave….Krish is now yours ….and I want you to marry be happy and.."
"No!... one can replace you…" he sobbed placing his head on her shoulder …lifting her hand slowly she placed it on his arm.
"Armaan… I written on the laptop…please read that …it for Krish and you…I wanted to give you something and …." She closed her eyes feeling the pain.
"Kiss me!" she whispered looking at him as he shook his head negatively.
"If I do you leave me…" his voice quivered seeing the pain on the face.
"Waaaahhhhh….Waaaaahhhh" Armaan looked over at Krish crying as he looked at her
"Armaan….take him! he needs you…" Armaan looked over Krish with his mouth open crying and got up from the bed ….moving round towards Krish in her arms he took hold of him as he cried loudly like as if he was in some pain…
"BUT We both need you…" Armaan said looking at her as she looked at them.
"I love ….you" she whispered
He started at the monitor and looked at her as she looked at him….Holding Krish close to him scream over the noise of the machines he looked at everyone rushing into the room …..everything was blurry as he stood in the corridor holding Krish as they both cried…
9 months later
He placed the flowers on the grave and looked at the stone….feeling the tears in his eyes.. "He so beautiful….and bright….I come home and he screams at me… and now he crawling all over the place…I have like gates up everywhere and he crawl to the kitchen and scream at me for his bottle….I wish you could see him…But I know you are watching from up there… I have to give him an Italian name too so the family call him Cristiano …So its Krish Cristiano Malik…I like it...has a nice ring too it… well they all call me Amernio…and he was not going to be spared either…" Armaan smiled as he wiped the lone tear… …. "I go and see Esha….she be waiting for me…" he moved along the path and looked at the grave stone….placing the flowers down. Every month he would come and see them….A day never past when he wished they where in his life…
"DAAAADA!" Armaan looked over at Krish and blinked as he looked as he held Thomas the tank engine in his hand.
"Dude did you say dada…" Armaan looked over at him on the rug as he looked over at his father and dropped the toy…
"Daaaadaaa.." Krish crawled over towards his feet as Armaan looked up as he felt the large big hand grab him and pick him up…
"RIMMMMYYYY COME QUICK!" hearing the pot fall he looked to see her looking at them
"What happen?" Armaan beamed in delight holding Krish up in the air and turned around and ran towards her and kissed her cheek.
"He said Daaada.." Riddhima sighed in relief and looked at him smiling as he was coming home everyday and practising with Krish to say dada as he was saying baba and Pitaji was trilled at the sound of his name on lips…and he would scream Rimma and baba and Armaan was upset he could not say dada… Armaan beamed looking at her.
"Rrrrrreeeeemmmaaaaa" he screamed as Armaan watched him leap out of his arms and into her arms.
"I'll get him to say momma…properly!" he said placing his hand on his head as Krish looked over at his mother
"Its all you fault any way…. Shouting Rimmy and he like picking up all these bad habits from you.." Armaan looked at her and beamed in delight.
"Like Father like son!" he beamed looking at her frowning at him.
"DAADDAAA" Krish leaped out of Riddhima arms into Armaan as he held onto his father.
"Where my baby?" Armaan looked to see his father walk into the room and heard Krish screaming out for him…. "Babbba" ….
"Dad he said Dadaa!" Armaan beamed as Krish leaped into Ashoks arms and looked at his father hug Krish as he giggled.
"Dadda is Hindi for granddad!" Ashok said looking at Armaan as he frowned.
"No its not!" Armaan looked over at Riddhima and back at his father.
"Dada mean dad…" Armaan grabbed Krish of him and looked at him.
"My baby!" he said looking at his father who shook his head at him and marched over to Riddhima …
"MY BABY!" Ashok looked over at him as he placed his arm around Riddhima and looked over at him as he looked at him.
"NOOOO! SHE IS MINE TOO ….You cant have her and Krish…I am your Baby!" Riddhima giggled as they both acted like babies…and would fight over her or Krish but she knew they loved them a lot.
"Right…Dinner ready…" she marched over to Armaan taking Krish..
"Now if you to babies would freshen up and …I will feed Krish his dinner.."
"Well he started it!" Armaan said folding his arms
"Did not!" Ashok looked at him sulking
"Did to…"Armaan said looking at him
"Right to you rooms…any more from you too no dinner.." Riddhima said firmly leaving the room
"I am starving and…want some food!" Ashok looked at him …how he changed and was like a different person with Riddhima and Krish in his life…behaved like a child and how he would just adore Riddhima …. After the second operation they managed to stop the internal bleeding and Riddhima recovery was so slow…. Armaan and Krish never left her side… Ashok had arranged for the nurses to care for his grandson at the hospital and he was glad Armaan had a friend like Chriag who stuck around for a month …how the 3 of them held Krish and looked after him… Riddhima case was different…she lost a lot of blood and her wounds took time to recover…but he had to remove her womb to save her …Armaan agreed to shift into the Malik house until Riddhima was strong enough to go home…How in 3 months they both cared for Krish and Riddhima …Ashok missed them when they left the house felt so empty and he was thinking of selling the house…As Armaan and Riddhima wanted him with them and home was with the family…so he decide to rent the house instead of selling and moved into the beech house with them…. They were blessed he thought looking at Armaan pulling his chair closer to Krish…as he would feed Krish on the high chair and they hold Rimmy hand thinking dad could not see…Ashok chuckled to himself as he looked over at them… Maria this could not be possible without you my angel he thought looking over at Rimmy …placing a spoon of dhal and Rice in Armaan's mouth as he was not looking…
"Rimmy…you goin to get me overweight!" Armaan said looking at her as he looked at his father…grinning as Ashok looked at him narrowing his eyes at him.
"Rimmy puttar…kaisa pati hai tumara?" Armaan looked at him narrowing his eyes at him.
"Pitaji…jaise bi hai mera hai!" Riddhima said grinning at him as Ashok laugh looking at her as Armaan looked at them dumb fold.
"NO Hindi ….you two talk to fast and…"
"She just said she loves you….but loves me more! …Now beta eat your dinner!" Ashok looked at Armaan looking at Riddhima hurt and she like shaking her head at him.
"I…I…I Love Krish More!" Riddhima announced looking at both of them as she picked Krish up and left the dinning room.
"Why you?" Armaan looked over at Ashok.
"What? I cant tell MY daughter I love her…and she loves you more we know that…makes your favourite foods…and worries if you don't walk through the door …" Armaan grinned
"Yeah she loves me more then you and Krish!" Ashok shook his head and looked at him beaming… He was so child like and he knew how much he loved her as he picked up the dishes and walked to the kitchen…
"Rimmy …me and Krish going for a walk!" Riddhima looked over at Ashok as he took hold of Krish and left the kitchen….Ever Evening Pitaji would take Krish in his arms for a stroll on the beach…while Armaan helped her clean up.
Feeling his arms around her as he placed his hands in the bubble water he gentle placed his lips on her collar bone …feeling her gasp as he grinned intertwining his finger with her…
"Rimmy…lets go to Canada…" he whispered
"Hmmm Armaan …we waiting to hear from that adoption agency …once they agreed we can have Priya…we can go …" Armaan hugged her tightly and helped her with the dishes…
Riddhima smiled as Krish was fast asleep in his cot…How Armaan had done a beautiful room with the nursery …winnie the pooh looked to elegant …on the wall following Christopher Robinson around the 100 Acre wood…with Tiger, Piglet and Roo……How he took so much care in the detail of the room which he would not let her or anyone see…until they came home together as a family…Though she knew she put Krish to sleep and he get up and pick him up and carry him into the room and place him in there bed as ….he just look at her say.. "Dude's sleepin here!" and he place him on his chest as Krish while slowly snuggle up to him… She remember Pitaji telling her he find Armaan sleeping with Krish on his chest while she was in the hospital…and Riddhima would simply smiled looking at them at bedtime.
'bring bring' she looked over at Armaan holding the phone walking into the nursery and looked at her.
"Yes this is Dr Armaan Malik…hmmm….Yes ….that's great ….we be there tomorrow afternoon…" Riddhima looked at him holding his hand and dragged her out there bedroom….as he talked on the phone.
"Congratulation Riddhima we have Priya!" seeing the tears rolling down her eyes he hugged her and smiled.
He remember how she read the story in the newspaper …how this 4year old lost her mother and had no family in the America and being Indian …they where looking for an Asian family to adopt the little girl…he remember how she was so upset that day and how she just sit on the spot on the beach when she was feeling low….playing with Krish and he just sat down next to her and said and she told him about Priya… "So we adopt her!" and the look on her face as she stared at him.
"But I mean?" she looked at him confused.
"You have so much love to give Rimmy ….thou I get jealous when dads like being fatherly with you….but we can convert the study into a pink princess palace and we can send the papers… thou I will be with you every step of the way and you being at home …writing and we could raise the kids together…plus you have another big baby moving in the house…Dad!" Riddhima kissed him.
He knew Esha would never ever be replaced but Riddhima need to fill that void in her life and maybe Priya could help do that in a way for both of them….they meet the girl several times at the care home…Riddhima would go with Krish once a day and he attend when he got time… she was a shy and scared child…as everyone around her would play she would sit in the corner and then when she saw Riddhima it was like they clicked… Armaan could not explain it…Maybe Riddhima knew what it was like to watch everything on the sideline and the adoption agency where totally shocked how the little girl behaved seeing Riddhima…. Riddhima would smother her with hugs and kisses and they even had her staying over in the house for a few weeks…Now it was final the paper work all accepted there new family member would be joining them….
Armaan looked at her coming out of the bathroom…she was still looked so thin and he was worried about her health constantly….when she sneezed it scared him and he would check her over though she got annoyed at his doctor bed side manner…he chuckled looking at her as she pulled the covers.
"What?" she looked at him on his knee on the bed coming towards her as she stepped back to get herself pulled into his hold…
"I love you!" he said looking at her as she blushed shaking her head.
"Armaan…" he looked at her pulling away from his hold.
"Ahem…Mrs Malik…" he pulled her close to him.
"Ok so now can we go to Canada.." he asked kissing her cheek and moving back her hair behind her ears.
"Hmmm it thinks so it be a good change for all over us and Priya will like it.." he looked at her as she smiled.
"Ok we adopt her after a year and then ….we be legal parents after the review. …" he asked getting into bed.
"Yeah but Armaan we have to be like careful with her as she like…."
"Like you not trusting and scared ….i know!" she raised her eyebrows looking at him.
"Like me?" he grinned as she got into bed…
Pulling her hard towards him he smiled as he grinned…
"You got that innocent angel look like priya…and I used to so melt when you would say kiss me goodbye in the morning…!" she turned to look at him
cheeky monkey making me say kiss me goodbye in the morning …" feeling
his lips she melted in his arms…. Only he could kiss in such a away….
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