FF: Hum Saath Saath Hain - *completed* - Page 3

Posted: 15 years ago
Originally posted by ranrags


The character sketch seems too good..now waiting to read the 1st part..though feeling bad for Harmaan..but very keen to know how u portray them together..
 
Thanks! Sadly all my ideas are not mine...choried some from movies...but hopefully you will enjoy!
Posted: 15 years ago
Originally posted by angel82


Shabo, interesting character sketch....cant wait to read the first part
 
Thanks! SOrry, I didn't get your name?๐Ÿ˜ณ
Posted: 15 years ago
Originally posted by ~Rinki~


aahhhhh!!! how did i miss this?? ๐Ÿ˜ก oh yea cuz i just got home like an hour ago lolz! ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†
Ohhh yea...school starting....fun ending!
hehe yesh!!! ur finally starting it!
Well I have 11 parts written so I thought I would. But....I'm sorta stuck now!๐Ÿ˜†
aahhh still loving the character sketchs ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜† now watch me gonna leave actual long comments when u post the parts...aww shabzie!! we dnt nag!!! we'll just bug ya like heck! ๐Ÿ˜‰๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†
Don't I know it!
lolz sooo when will u be free enough to post the first part? ๐Ÿ˜›๐Ÿ˜‰
As a matter of fact, posting it today, as soon as I finish repling and checking my PM's/
rinkz btw did u already go to orientation todai? how was it? ๐Ÿฅฑ
Yea I went. Yesterday you mean!๐Ÿ˜†It was ok...got a couple of friends in classes...but I really got to work this year, not slack off like *ahem* last year!
Posted: 15 years ago
Originally posted by pooji123456789


awesome
nice character sketches
 
Thanks! Poonam right?๐Ÿ˜ณ
Posted: 15 years ago
Originally posted by .xganga.x


Charecter sketch sounds great!
Looking forward to the first part!
?xXx?
 
Thanks di!!! Posting soon!
Posted: 15 years ago
Originally posted by hip-hop


superb ..di ... wanna see first part shooooooon
 
Thanks Sara!! First part coming up!๐Ÿ˜ณ
Posted: 15 years ago

Thanks to everyone who replied on my intro! ๐Ÿค—

So, here is the first part! It's nothing major yet, more like a continuation of the charachter skecth...the base of the story. So hopefully you will like it! Enjoy!๐Ÿ˜ƒ
 
***

Part 1

 

Every week, with the sun rising on Sunday morning in Canada and the sun setting in India on Saturday night came Lalit and Balraj's weekly telephone chats. Without fail, these two friends talked for a good hour or so every week, consoling each other, applauding each other and eagerly waiting for the day when Lalit would return to his desh, India. Little did Balraj know, this day was not far.

 

"Hello? Lalit!"

 

"Haan bhai, mein yahaan hoon! Kaisa hai tu?"

 

"Arre, hum sab bilkul theek hai, par tum! Kya zuraat hai itne ghante kaam karne ki? Mein bolra, ek din tum kam karthe karthe marjounge!" Bajraj announces laughing. 

 

"Kya yaar, shubh shubh bolo! Mujhe tumhe ek khush kabri dena hai!"

 

"Kaise khush kabri? BOLO NAA!"

 

Lalit laughed over his friend's impatient nature. He was always like this, getting excited before even knowing what happened. "Agle haafthe, mein, Gayatri aur bacche wapis arre!"

 

Half a world away Balraj Mann dropped the phone in shock. His friend was coming back! His brother, his best friend was coming back to see him! "Hello? Arre Balluโ€ฆโ€ฆkahan khogaye??" A frustrated Lalit repeatedly asked into the phone before Balraj, coming out of his dazed stance, picked up the phone again. "Tumโ€ฆtum saach bolre naa? Ye kuch ghayiya mazak toh nahin hai naa? Lalit laughed. "Nahin bhai, theek isse samhen, agle hafte, mein India mein khadam rakhoonga!" Balraj quckly blinked back his tears of joy. "Mein abhi se tyariyan shuru kartha hoon! Phirโ€ฆagle hafte milinge!!" Both friends shared a hearty laugh before hanging up. Balraj stood there motionless for a minute before starting to scream for his better half. "TEJI!!! TEJI!"

 

A women ran out of the kitchen. One look into her eyes and the hardships she has faced in life were reflected. Her face was lined with creases from worrying about the smallest things in life, but when she smiled, there was nothing purer. "Kya hai jee? Kyun itna shor machare hai?" Teji asked. "Arre, aap jab suninge toh pagaal hogaying PAGAAL!" Teji laughed at her husband's antics. "Asi kosi baath hai?" Upon hearing the good news Teji's eyes sparkled! "Saach! Vah, ye toh bhooth achi kabar sunye apne!! Mein abhi se abhi tyariyaan shuru karthi hoon!" With that Teji walked back in to the kitchen smiling.

 

Balraj ran his tired hands through his hair. He had to tell his daughters! But where they would be, all three of them were so spontaneous, they just decided on going somewhere and left. Musing over this Balraj started walking over in his fields. As he was walking he though he heard giggles. Pausing and listening to the joyous noise made him shake his head in amusement. So THAT'S where his daughters where, the lil stretch of land he had fixed up with swings since before they were born. The girls often escaped there to think things over, gossip or just relax.

 

"Ash, Heer, Sukhi!!"

 

All three girls turned around with surprised smiles gleaming on their faces. Balraj stopped for a second, considering his daughters. There was Ash, the most modern but the apple of his eye, his first born. There was Heer, shy, quiet, traditional, the glue that kept the family together and of course there was Sukhi, the loudest one but the one with the most caring nature. All three were self-sacrificing which people in the city often noticed and respected.

 

"Jee Papaji?" Ash asked. "Kya hua?"

 

"Tum longan guess karo!!" exclaimed Balraj. "Papaji, NOT FAIRโ€ฆ!" exclaimed Ash and Heer at the same time while Sukhi just replied in a bored voice "Lalit Chacha waapis aare naa? Balraj, Ash and Heer turned to look at Sukhi in surprise and when asked how she knew she just scoffed and replied "Zara Papa ko dekho! Itne khush akri bar kab the? Jan unno Lalit Chachu se milthe the! Simple!" Balraj shook his head. Sukhi ran up and hugged him so hard, almost knowing the wind out of him. "I'm SO happy for you Papa!!" During this touching father-daughter moment, Ash turned and thought about Harman. She couldn't wait to see him again; last they saw each other they were 10. But nowโ€ฆeverything had changed. Sure she had consoled him through e-mails but this was different. Heer on the other hand smiled simply remembering the 6 year old Prem who always asked her for money to buy ice-cream. She shook her head. This was going to be very interesting indeed.


***
OK so what did you think? I know it's short but hey what can I do. I promise this FF will have lots of parts but maybe not so long!๐Ÿ˜†
So hopefully ya'll liked this part enough to leave comments? *hopeful muh* Comments, criticism, anything that floats your boat!๐Ÿ˜ณ
Waiting eagerly...!
Ohh one more thing...this part is dedicated to my true love! Vikki! Good luck with collage!๐Ÿค—
Edited by shabo24 - 15 years ago
Posted: 15 years ago
Yesh, i'm first..
*edited*
I've already read this, but I had to read it again. Hehe. You just write so well! As you already know, the part is fantabulous... I love how you kept Balraaj and Lalits friendship still fresh, unlike in kdmhmd they never talked to eachother just cuz Lalit wanted to go to Canada. Tsk tsk, what bad friends.
Balraaj's imaptience was kind of funny, he goes 'BOLA NA!' i could totally imagine him ready to strangle Lalit on the phone if he didn't speak up soon. Hehe reminds me of someone.. i wonder whoo.. ๐Ÿค”
Oh and you wrote 'ghatiya' wrong, go fix now! *shoos shabz to go fix*
I loved the girls entry, could just imagine this thing, like in the drama's.. showing there feets first and then zooming up to each one of there faces... ahh I could imagine it all..
Now another thing, i love how you gave a little introduction of each of the girls while Ballu was about to tell them the good news. Then each of the girls went into there own thoughts, thinking about the guy there paired up with.
Ash and Harman already know each other, but the others don't know that the know each other. Ahhh if only they did, then that tragic twist of the story would never have to come up.
Okies, thats all i have so far, tell me if I'm missing any other detail.. ๐Ÿค“

*edited again*
You dedicated the part to vikki... ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ Oh gaawwd shabz, you are totally crazy... ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ I'll give him a double hug from you now... you want me to give it to now? since he's sleeping? ๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜† Probably dreaming about you... ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

Love ya
kimz
Edited by kimmu - 15 years ago
Posted: 15 years ago

โญ๏ธdi its super ..... and sukhii she so intelligent than heer and ash .....as she knew her fathers happiness .....aww di its small but fully meaning full .............now hw may be the action and reaction of heer and ash....two sharmili ......wanna see harman and prem meeting heer and ash ...lovely update di ...soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo supebbbbbb!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! loved it๐Ÿ‘Edited by hip-hop - 15 years ago
Posted: 15 years ago
The character sketch and the first part was very well written.Keep up the good work.

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