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my new ff"frm my soul"

shriya12 Senior Member
shriya12
shriya12

Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 862

Posted: 25 August 2008 at 4:13am | IP Logged
='hello everyone i m shriya...i luv all the ar ffs written in ths forum n i hv tried to write6 one too...ths is my first attempt at a ff so plz feel free to criticise if its bad...i got the idea of writing ths ff frm the epi whr armaan's =soul comes out of his body...well in my ff armaan is dead..(dnt beat me!)..ths story is a one shot frm armaans point of view.....not exactly armaan,his spirit's pov..it might seem ridiculous but do give it a read....n comment....
m''y story starts frm the point whr armaans soul is sitting at the entrance to sanjeevani ,thinking abt his death n riddhima enters..so here goes...
 
from my soul....
 
 

as i sat here at the stairs mourning my death a car suddenly pu5lls up at the parking lot of the hospital n halts thr...immediately enses bcum alert n i know she has come..ths is a strange connection tht i share wth her but its true tht i can sense whn shes near me...n ths connection is one thing tht unlike everything else has remained wth me loyally evn after my death...i can feel her presence n i know she can feel mine toobut i can do nothing abt it now...it makes me feel so helpless as i look at her parking her car n stepping out of it...as her feet touch the ground i notice shes wearing red..yeah the "saucewala red" n it makes my heart skip a beat...i knw dead ppl dont hv heart but i have mine bcz i can feel everything....i jus cannot xpln hw beatiful she luks in red..not tht shes not beautiful otherwise...shes the most beautiful thing tht i have evr set eyes on but she luks the best whn she is in red...red is jus her color...anyways i c her getting out of her car n heading towards me i.e. the entrance.....her face is as innocent as evr.. but something is different in it now..her beautiful eyes hv lost the shine tht they usually held...an untold sadness had marked her face making her luk older....i knew i was responsible for it...i left her n since then shes nevr been the same...no matter hw muc she denied earlier i knw tht she luves me as muc as i luv her...she walks past me  n tht familiar sense of excitement creeps inside me..ohh how  i miss her....bng near her n not bng able to spk to her  makes me feel so helpless...i dnt think thr must b anyone on ths earth having a fate as unfortunate as mine...i follow her,walking close behind n it breaks me completely to c she c'annot feel me...i wnt to shout out loud,call out her name,mk her feel my presence but i knw all my attempts wud b futile...after all hw mny ppl can c or feel the dead?she stops at the reception whr sister lovely is busy filing her nails...paying no attention to her,..riddhima raps at the counter twice whch mks sis lovely luk up...." oh ji dr. ridhima ji ,i m sorry i dint notice u.."thn she takes in ridhimas appearance..."dr. ridhima u luk soooo pretty today...is it sumthing special today?"the moment these words escape her lips i remember, i glance up at the calendar on the reception..14th march...how cud i forget..its her bday today...today is the day whn the most beautiful person had stepped into ths world...n i had been careless enuf to forget it.......but then how does it matter whther i remember or not...both ways i wont b abl to wish her....i luk up at her face to c wht her reaction is to sis lovely's question but she luks impassive...shrugging her shoulders she says" no nothing special"...sis lovely doesnt enqire further...handing her the register she goes bck to her task of filing her nails....ridhima investigates the register for some 5 minutes...puts her signature n hands it bck to sis lovely...all ths while i keep luking at her unabl to get enuf of her...the way her eyes move bck n forth whl checking the register,the concentration on her face while signing..everything luks so beautiful n lovable..it mks me wanna touch her...she heads to her cabin n i follow her...she goes  into the room n shuts the door?as for me,I dnt require a door to stop me from reaching her..she goes to her table?places her bag n opens a drawer..she retrieves a photoframe from the drawer n looks at it..lovingly?I cannot see whose pic it is..then she turns around towards the wall such tht her back is obscuring..my view now?then I hear soft crying?she is crying ?n I know whose picture that might be?then I hear her speak " u forgot wht day it is today..isnt it?i waited so much for ur wish,where r u?see I have even put on your favourite red dress?I want u to wish me first..,where r u?"saying ths she breaks down completely..n starts sobbing uncontrollably?unknowingly..a tear slips down my cheek?.i walk forward..n stand near her very close to her?she is still standing n weeping.. I take my face near her ear n whisper softly"happy birthday riddhima.."immediately she turns n looks around startled,I retreat few steps?.I m sure she felt me?.she looks around frantically ?.her face shows her eagerness?she knows I m here?unable to find anyone she looks down,closes her eyes n whispers ?armaan"?ah its sheer bliss hearing my name escaping her lips..never had my name sounded so beautiful before?I cannot take it any longer ..i knew I had to touch her..i move forward again?she looks upward now?staring right through me ?I m looking at her n unaware shes looking at me too...its as if everything has come to a sudden standstill?theres only the two of us existing?looking at at each other,just like the old times?I come closer?so close that we can hear each others heartbeat ,feel each others breath on our faces?I move my hand upwards?wanting to touch her face?to caress it,to make her feel,I m right there with her?my fingers are inches apart from her face?any moment now?but suddenly theres asharp knock at the door?I m jolted out of my trance?the world spun bck to reality?I look at her?shes still standing thr..but looking down..n I realize whr I was?wht I was?whatever just happened?was it a dream..but again my thoughts are disturbed by the loud rap at the door?ths time followed by a sharp female voice "ridz u thr?" I know who this is,..anjali gupta ..another daughter of gupta household n elder sis to riddhima?shes another grt friend of mine n another strong link to mine and riddhimas no longer exixting relationship?.riddhima responds"yes di I m coming" quickly she tosses the photoframe into the still open drawer n wipes away her tears?she thn hurries to the door n opens it nervously?.the moment the door opens n anjie comes into view,she shouts in delight"happy birthday sweetie!"n behind her are heard more voices n then one by one 5 ppl come to focus?anjali,rahul,atul,muskan n sapna?.all r our frnds n fellow interns?they all enter the room excitedly,some hugging her,some wishing her..shaking her hands..whn I saw the different ppl entering the room,their faces smiling,as I saw them hugging her lovingly,trying to cheer her up?the shine in their eyes while doing so?it suddenly dawned upon me how far I had moved frm her?thr was a vast gap between us n no matter how much I tried to reassure myself,,the fact remained tht I cud do nothing to reduce ths gap?we both belonged to different worlds,two different worlds..n as ths bitter truth struck me hard in the face,I heard my heart painfully breaking into two..there was no going bck for me n I nevr wud want her to come forward to me?..in all the cheering n shouting..i silently make my way towards the open door?although my silence hardly mattered?as such everybody in the room was oblivious to my presence?before going out..i turn to look bck for one last glance of her..she was smiling..tlking to muskan?atlst she was happy?"happy birthday,ridz"I whisper softly n finally leave the room,making my way towards the nevr ending darkness?

 

amidst all the chit chat n noise,she suddenly felt a cold chill entering her heart?.it was as if the little warm feeling tht had been inside her was taking leave of her forever?.as muskan continued her blabbering..n atul, anjie bickered nearby, she turned her eyes towards the door?she felt s if sumbdy had jus left frm thr?looking towards the open door at the blank space?she closed her eyes n whispered "thank u armaan"..as a lone tear trickled down her cheek??????..

 
 
 
 
 


Edited by shriya12 - 25 August 2008 at 5:01am

The following 5 member(s) liked the above post:

sea_nyxKaShCrazyAneesapinkssEuphoria.-AviatoR-

rani 19 Senior Member

Joined: 22 May 2008
Posts: 696

Posted: 25 August 2008 at 7:23am | IP Logged
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123abc123 IF-Rockerz
123abc123
123abc123

Joined: 06 November 2007
Posts: 5957

Posted: 25 August 2008 at 7:51am | IP Logged
wooow dta was seriously amazing
woooow really lkin 4wd ot readin more of it
it was beautifuly written
 
updte sooon
 
nizma x
Iqbal Neha1 IF-Dazzler
Iqbal Neha1
Iqbal Neha1

Joined: 01 February 2006
Posts: 4104

Posted: 25 August 2008 at 11:39am | IP Logged
amazing concept
i liked the way u showed even though armaan is dead ridz can feel him it shows how strong there love is 4  each other
arvanu IF-Dazzler
arvanu
arvanu

Joined: 03 November 2006
Posts: 4324

Posted: 26 August 2008 at 6:34am | IP Logged
this is the best intro of a AR FF i have read so far.........inquistive to know how would u develop the story.......plzz do continue...its a unique and a great concept for a FF.........and if u could plzz pm me when u update next...........great job!!
 
-surbhiSmile
shriya12 Senior Member
shriya12
shriya12

Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 862

Posted: 26 August 2008 at 9:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rani 19

wooow this is a totally unique concept im very curious as to how you r going to develop this story. amazing intro i cant believe he is dead. plzz do continue, if you do plzz follow the new IF format as i hate to scroll left n right to read the whole sentences.
luv iram
thanks for the compliment..i m honoured as well as encouraged...i meant ths ff to b a oneshot but lets c if i cn develop it further...if i dont i ll write another ff..thanks a lot....
shriya12 Senior Member
shriya12
shriya12

Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 862

Posted: 26 August 2008 at 9:51am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sweet-niz

wooow dta was seriously amazing
woooow really lkin 4wd ot readin more of it
it was beautifuly written
 
updte sooon
 
nizma x
thanks nizma,thanks a lot for ur reply...i wud definitely try n write further..
shriya12 Senior Member
shriya12
shriya12

Joined: 15 May 2008
Posts: 862

Posted: 26 August 2008 at 9:53am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Iqbal Neha1

amazing concept
i liked the way u showed even though armaan is dead ridz can feel him it shows how strong there love is 4  each other
thanks dear..armaan n ridz r meant to b together...i m very happy wth ur compliment..thanks a lot....

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