Jokes

India-Forums

   
Jokes
Jokes

How To Deal with Telemarketers

Rubal Newbie
Rubal
Rubal

Joined: 25 August 2004
Posts: 14

Posted: 01 September 2004 at 12:45pm | IP Logged

How To Deal with Telemarketers :-

 

1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

 

2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

 

3. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, are they married?, kids?, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

 

4. Cry out in surprise,"Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.

 

5. Say "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

 

6. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"

 

7. After the Telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.

 

8. Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company, they often can't sell to employees.

 

9. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh No!!!" and then hang up.

 

10. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her HOME phone number so you can call him/her back. When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their HOME numbers you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me, either!" Hang up.

 

11. Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.

 

12. Tell them it is dinner time, BUT ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.

 

13. Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a pizza.

 

14. Ask them to fax the information to you, and make up a number.

 

15. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your mom?"

 

16. Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder...louder...

 

17. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

Shipra_S

Morgoth IF-Rockerz
Morgoth
Morgoth

Joined: 01 June 2004
Posts: 6831

Posted: 01 September 2004 at 2:06pm | IP Logged
I'm going to try some of these! They sound effective! LOL
mermaid Groupbie
mermaid
mermaid

Joined: 03 June 2004
Posts: 51

Posted: 01 September 2004 at 2:44pm | IP Logged
seriously, i just tried it on a telemarketer, cant tell u how much fun it was, it was a woman on the line n she hung up terrified thinking i had totally lost it. I pretended that she was my long lost friend from school.LOL 
Rubal Newbie
Rubal
Rubal

Joined: 25 August 2004
Posts: 14

Posted: 02 September 2004 at 6:42am | IP Logged
I have tried it couple of times and its really FUN Wink LOL
  • Page 1 of 1

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Author Replies Views Last Post
Fun With Telemarketers

Author: o|oNaTaShAo|o   Replies: 7   Views: 517

o|oNaTaShAo|o 7 517 01 September 2007 at 1:11am by dilkiaawaz

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category / Channels
Forums

  • Please login to check your Last 10 Topics posted

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.

Popular Channels :
Star Plus | Zee TV | Sony TV | Colors TV | SAB TV | Life OK

Quick Links :
Top 100 TV Celebrities | Top 100 Bollywood Celebs | About Us | Contact Us | Advertise | Forum Index