We at BollyCurry were on our way to attend an Independence Day celebration nearby, when we turned on the radio, only to listen to some cringe worthy songs and die. After dying, we realised that we couldn't simply die without informing our loyal readers about the kind of horribly-soothing soundtracks that some of our very own lyricists, ace music composers and amazing actors have been a part of. We have now come back to life in order to present to you a number of recent Bollywood songs. Songs that, although may get you moving on the dance floor, will make you recoil upon carefully listening to the kind of words that have been used.
Disclaimer:- If you are not a fan of sarcasm and rhetorical questions, kindly navigate to another page.
"Hookah Bar" from Khiladi 786
"Tera pyaar pyaar pyaar, hookah bar"
While I can date this song back to 2012 and imagine myself grooving on the dance floor to its beats, today I sit with a cup of coffee and wonder if Himesh Reshammiya
was high on hookah when he penned down this song.
"Mera Naam Mary" from Brothers
"Mera naam Mary hai, Mary sau takka teri hai, phir kiss baat ki deri hai, Mary sau takka teri hai"
Can somebody please tell Amitabh Bhattacharya
that there's a lot more a person would like to hear in a song, other than Mary's name and her sau takka
"Sunny Sunny" from Yaariyan
"Aaj blue hai paani paani paani paani paani paani, aur din bhi sunny sunny sunny sunny sunny sunny"
Yo, Yo Yo, will you ever get over the paani and sunny and care to tell us what else this song has to offer? I mean, we listeners are not deaf, we understand what you say without the need of a good six times repetition. PS: we don't mind the phooti kismet, if you don't click our pictures at the beach.
"Selfie Le Le Re" from Bajrangi Bhaijaan
"Masti ki tanki mein tanik dubki le le re, chal beta selfie le le re"
I hereby make a formal announcement to the Bollywood music industry declaring that just because a new trend sets in, the market does not automatically give lyricists the permission to add it in a random situation. Maybe think twice before doing so? Oops, we know there's a shortage of wisdom in town these days.
"Saree Ke Fall Sa" from R... Rajkumar
"Touch karke, touch karke, kaha chaldi bach karke, bach karke, touch karke dil se dil, attach kiya re, kabhi chodd diya dil, kabhi catch kiya re"
I recall this song becoming a chartbuster soon after the release of the movie. Does this mean people now enjoy senseless songs? I can totally imagine people play catch and catch with heart-shaped balloons while this song plays.
"You are my chicken fry, you are my fish fry, kabhi na kehna kudiye, bye bye bye"
With this song, I dreamt about snatching all the gold ornaments from Bappi Lahiri
and hitting him with the same.
"I'm feeling alright 'cause it's a nonsense ki night"
, I'm afraid this nonsense ki night
got me like: I'm not alright 'cause it's a nonsense ki height
"Tooh" from Gori Tere Pyaar Mein
"English mein kende booty-shooty, Punjabi vich tooh! Shake that tooh"
Wait a second, was this a song or a horrible attempt at teaching languages? Just because we learnt that tooh is the Punjabi word for booty, we should shake it? Snap out, baby.
"Aa Khushi Se Khudkhushi Kar Le" from Darling
"Mere jaaniyan, mere ishq ka dil mein zeher bhar le, aa khushi se khudkhushi kar le"
though, is taking his depressing look too seriously. If you translate the above line into English, you intend to say that one should commit suicide happily just because he's in love? *facepalm*
"Babaji Ka Thullu" from Dolly Ki Doli
"Raat bhar mein saru jaise chat par ullu, tere pyaar mein mujhko kya mila, babaji ka thullu"
We are all aware that Kapil Sharma
's Comedy Show invented the Babaji Ka Thullu
phrase, which became an instant hit amongst everyone. But does the music industry want us to slit our heart open and show them that it's deeply painful to see them make random use of commonly-used phrases as songs? Dil cheed ke dikha doon
"Pyar Ki Maa Ki" from Housefull 3
"Iss awesome wale mausam mein English wali pappi, pyar ki maa ki, pyar ki maa ki, aaj se pooja karni hai"
I'm still wondering whether this song is appreciating your beloved's mother or abusing love? If rhymes are more vital in a song than its meaning, then I suggest Bollywood should make use of "Baa Baa Black Sheep" too! Who knows? It just might make wonders.
"Dil Kare Chu Che" from Singh Is Bling
"Oh tera ikraar sunke dil kare chu che, chu che"
I don't know what is chu che, but I'm definitely ready to smack this lyricist with my jhootey! (shoes)
"Caller Tune" from Humshakals
"Tu mera hai nasha, tu mera hai junoon. Caller tune baby, caller tune baby"
It's common sense that nasha and junoon have no connection with caller tune. Common sense, not so common after all?
A few, among the lessons learnt from this dose of kachra songs, is that we firstly need more basic English and Hindi language teachers in the music industry. Secondly, a number of lyricists need to take a walk to the market and purchase a new brain because their current one seems rusted. Now before we sign off, why don't you tell us about other such kachra songs you have listened to?