Hello, my pretty ladies! Did you miss me? Yes, yes, I know your favourite DJ had been MIA for quite some time, but please, don't barrage me with your chappals (I'm a size seven, just saying) and rotten tamatars; your dear lyricists are to be blamed. You may be tempted to ask why, but don't you worry, DJ Bolli won't leave her fans in a twist. With regret, I inform you that this DJ was momentarily blown away and it took her some time to find her footing. Nahin, my country wasn't attacked by a hurricane, at least not a natural one, anyway. After a hurricane of freshly released mind blowing songs, DJ Bolli is back with a rant...err, bang? I'll leave you to decide that once you've read the entire article.
It's every girl's dream to jam out on her favourite song with the bae, but for the life of me, I don't understand why anyone would want their love to be compared to a hookah bar! But then again, with the one and only Khiladi in your arms, who cares what your love is being compared to? Akshay Kumar is damn fine, no doubts; so yes, I admit, I have shamelessly sung "tera pyaar pyaar pyaar hookah bar" (Khiladi 786) all night long.
Now your lovely DJ B. grew up in the land native to Dancehall music, so by no means is she naive to the likes of the popular Caribbean flavours that music composers seem to enjoy exploring. Still, the Indian industry managed to throw me for a loop with all the "tooh tooh tooh" (Gori Tere Pyaar Main) that exploded last year. But when Kareena Kapoor and Imran Khan, both of whom are blessed in the "tooh" department, are shaking their toohs to the song, was anyone really complaining?
But it does not stop there! No, the music industry is the gift that keeps on giving, and has left DJ Bolli utterly flabbergasted. "Gandi Baat" (R...Rajkumar) stole the booty-shaking thunder, and yes, okay, any man would probably be annoyed if the woman of his dreams rejected his love even after all the change he underwent for her, but to resort to dirty talks? "Acchi baatein karli bohot, ab karunga tere saath gandi baat..." Maybe that is why she said no, eh, mister? This is something to ponder on, hain na? But why should we waste time pondering on logic when the music is perfect to shake a leg? Logic be damned, this DJ is starting up the dance floor.
No one would openly admit they are mentally ill, that is, of course, if you're not trying to save your skin from some punishable crime in the court of law. But it looks like the characters of the recent flick, Humshakals, had other ideas. They declared "hum pagal nahin hain bhaiya, humara dimaag kharaab hai". Give or take, the statement is true (I plead guilty) because it's a hamartia, whether one likes it or not. I'm totally 'loving' it.
Finally, DJ Bolli assures you all that her childhood is ruined. And probably yours too if you have not heard the new addictive versions of the nursery rhymes we all grew up with. Gone are our fond memories of singing to the music. The newer and more hyped up versions have erased almost all traces of innocence! Now I won't even be surprise if my future kid (see what I did there?) replies "Jug it, jug it. Last hogi aaj ki" when someone says, "Johnny Johnny" (Entertainment).
It is exhausting to go through all these lyrical nonsense, and I have no energy left to go through any more songs; after all, this DJ just subjected herself to some mind numbing...err, blowing songs, just for you. Be honoured and grateful, my darlings. However, I would like give a special shout out to Govinda, who was an iconic actor in his time, and who produced so many classics in the mind-blowing genre. Some of these songs include the extremely popular "Stop That" (Gambler) and "Main Toh Raste Se Ja Raha Tha" (Coolie No. 1), both of which truly cracked me up.
The list of songs that are popularly crazy is extensive because the lyrics may make no sense, but the music is infectious, and no one can ever forget catch phrases, even when they really want to. Believe you me, I've tried.
Do you know of any other songs that completely blew your mind? Don't be shy now; share them in the space below. Until the next edition, DJ Bolli advises you to not work your brain so much when trying to muddle out new music. Just enjoy the beat, and ignore the lack of sense.
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