Cast: Sukhwinder Singh, Shreya Narayan, Javed Khan

Director: Jagbir Dahiya

Kuch Kariye – Brain Hemorrhage

Kuch Kariye begins with the title song, sung by Sukhwinder (obviously), with his voice reaching the highest level of decibels. The visuals are bits and pieces of the film in a sepia-sketch mode. Then we're taken to a funeral where Rishi (Sukhwinder Singh) claims he's lost his love, his friends. Flashback. It's the town of Dehradun where Rishi is teaching a few kids music and his girlfriend rushes in to inform him about a crisis. Rishi goes to check out what the fuss is about. Apparently, his neighbours have thrown out all their stuff to demonstrate that they have a huge problem with their live-in relationship.

So Rishi and his girl Alpna (Shreya Narayan) go to the city where live-in relationships don't cause too much furor – Mumbai. There they meet a writer who wants to erase the dividing lines caused by caste or creed. They also meet another guy who wants to make it in the movies. Thanks to this second fella, the foursome get a huge bungalow to stay in. How? Well, he brings the watchman's son (who's the caretaker in the absence of the real owner) a photographic souvenir and the gesture is so touching that he lets them all stay! Wow! Never knew getting a place to stay in Mumbai was so easy!

The story progresses and another hot chick Roza (Khuahhish), who is actually inheritor of the bungalow, is added to this group. All five want to make a movie based on their friend's script. But wait, who will finance? Boo hoo. No one! Finally Roza's uncle, Mr. Money Bags agrees to finance it. Okay, now we know how pathetic movies like this one are made in Bollywood.

Sadly, like it's revealed in the start itself, the movie never reaches completion. But Rishi single handedly tries to tackle the 'negative elements' of the society. That's what I think the film is about.

The film is filled with songs, all sung and performed by Sukhwinder. But even thou he has a girl, he keeps dancing with other chicks over songs that go – ishq ki chillum bharle, mahoul garam karle. Sukhwinder, the sleaze king? Hmm…

The dialogues are so frustratingly poor, they make you want to scream. Here's a sample – '9 ke baad 0 aata hai. Aur aapke hisaab se saare aadmi bekaar hain.' Huh?!

The time when you can't take it any more is the song where Sukhwinder travels a poorly animated galaxy with his shirt open. We really didn't need to see that!

Just steer clear of this one!

Rating: *

Reporter and Author: Susan Jose